ginadv's Journal

I have a lot of issues that I am trying to deal with on a daily basis. Today I was dropping my car off for auto body repair and my husband who is manic depressive and will not take medication came with me. Well I forgot my new insurance card and the woman was telling her worker not to fax a paper but rather have the insurance company talk to me and then the insurance company can fax to them. After the woman had this conversation my husband says to the woman who gave the orders are you her mother and then went on to say I used to work for my Father and Grandfather and that is how they used to talk to me to and they were always right. I can not exactly remember the whole conversation but it upset this woman that he interfered with her business. I love my husband very much but he will not take any medication and his comments to people are getting out of control.  Everything that happens I get blamed for, after he interfered with her business she asked us to leave .  This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but this happens daily, he has a lot of anger and it is building up inside of his self. Every where I take him he makes rude and obscene comments that are off the wall.  I am sorry to say that I am embarrassed to take him any where. When I gamble so does he, e also has a problem with alcohol and drugs but he will not admit to any addictions. Once again every thing is my fault. I can no longer take the blame for his errors I can only take care of myself. We are self employed and his daily tantrums are putting stress on this also I no longer have the ambition to go to work with him. I feel so degraded and am sick and tired of being screamed at.  I am a nervous wreck all the time. I can not say anything to him as he will become real mean and nasty. God Please Bless my Family to live the right path and please Bless Ed to get the help that he needs so that we can go back to the way we were.