Join Now
It's been a tough week across the globe. Share your thoughts in our new 2008 Financial Crisis support group.
I've been gone for awhile. My hard drive went, I had it replaced and then it went again. So I decided just to get a new laptop. I like this laptop much better than my desktop. I can take it anywhere and still have internet access.
In addition to that I've been very busy with work and things at home are still busy. Stephanie was scheduled for a colonoscopy last week to try to figure out why she still has the bowel incontinence. After doing all the prep work, her doctor wanted us to cancel because her heart rate was high. She did bloodwork and all that looked normal. She's scheduled for an echocardiogram on Thursday and I guess we'll go from there regarding the colonoscopy. She's pretty much the same, mostly out of it most of the time.
FIL just celebrated his 91st birthday on Friday. He's holding his own.
Comments
oh man ... let's see ... I have hospice coming on Monday evening for an evaluation with Stephanie. She's not terminal, I don't think, but she is talking about dieing so much, it's just weird ... this morning she was stirring a bit in bed, so I told her just to lay there and relax while I took my shower and not to get up until I got back. She told me not to die in the shower. The other day when I went to wake her up, she asked me if her dad has passed away during the night. I told her, no, he's just sleeping and he would be up soon to fix her breakfast. No more seizures, but weird behavior. I just don't know. The nurse at her program called me and said I should give her Senna. I questioned her about it since we change her poopy diaper 4-5 times a day and she said that even when you are impacted you may have poopy leakage. Her tummy hurts her off and on too. So I did some research on the internet and maybe she has impacted bowels. I don't know how to tell for sure. I've mentioned the poopy situation to her regular doc and the neurologist and neither of them have said anything about impaction. I've been giving her Senna, but everything is the same. I did an enema on her last weekend and nothing but a little poop. I just don't know what to think.
Good news ... gramps 2nd skin surgery is healing nicely. We have to change his bandage every night and the wounds are looking really good. He seems to have settled in nicely and he'll probably live to be 105! Last weekend Michelle and Neil came and stayed with gramps and Steph and we went out to a dinner play at the Arizona Broadway Theatre. It was a wonderful night out, we really enjoyed it. And it was the first time ever that Michelle insisted they come and give us a night out. That made me feel very proud that she is recognizing what our life is like and offering to help without us asking.
Comments
-
happy that you got out for a night on the town! I'm sure you needed it. With all that you go through, you amaze me, good luck with Steph and this dying thing she's focused on. Let us know what hospice says., Love and prayers to you, Melody
-
YOu have me laughing.. I think my Dad will outlive us all.. But Im feeling bad for Steph.. I will tell you that hospice will prob be able to anser all your questions about the impaction.. If her tummy is distended and hard that is a sure sign.. Senna was like a joke for Mom.. We needed all the hard hitters.. Im so glad for yur outing.. and stoked that someone might be seeing you need a BREAK.. And you do.... Much Love always D
-
I would ask her doctor for an order for a KUB (xray of kidneys-ureters-bladder) which would show if there is truly impaction or not...
-
Glad you got a night out... I think of you and Steph so often and wonder how you are. The death obsession is I'm sure hard for you to deal with. If she's asking about her Dad and not just dwelling on her own death, my guess would be she's just maybe had a realization that we all die (?) But, I do also believe that some people have a sense that death is coming. I don't know. I do believe in God and Heaven and angels and afterlife and maybe God is preparing her in His own way. That probably sounded weird, but I don't know how it works... none of us do. I know that about 2 days before my Mom passed... she hadn't spoken or looked at any of us for days... she opened her eyes and started "talking" to someone. I first thought it was me because I got on the bed in front of her and tried talking to her... then I realized she wasn't looking AT me, but PAST me, sort of to the ceiling of the room. And she was talking... I couldn't understand her... but she was talking to someone.
I asked her if she was seeing heaven or angels and was it beautiful? But she wasn't talking to me and that was the last time she made any attempt to speak. For what it's worth.
Love and Prayers and Hugs, my dear friend..oh and strength, too..
Donna
xox
Stephanie said something today that she has never discussed before. She said "Dieing scares me." I asked her why and she said "Because I could die at any second." Whoa!!! I stayed calm and think of the right response, not a lie. I told her not to be scared, we all are going to die and that when it was her time to go both of her Grandmas and Thumper were there waiting for her in Heaven. I told her we would talk more about it on Saturday when we have more time to talk.
Comments
-
My Dear friend.. I wish I would have listened more when my Mom wanted to talk about death.. I would not hear of it.. I do think had we opened the conversation it would have helped her.I am very angry at myself fot that.. I just think your a wonderful mother.. I wish with all my heart you would not have to have this conversation with Steph..In fact i wish it with all my heart.. Love to you all D
-
I just cant imagine how tough this is..I just can't. And you are such a wonderful, solid mom. I really start to wonder about myself when I read your journal and you are so terrific. Great attitude, great strength, great reactions. God does marvelous things, he put Steph with you.
I pray for you guys and hope for the best...hugs and blessings to you dear..Mel
Past Entries
Was wondering where you have been! Glad you're back...I too prefer the laptop, I have both and the desk top is now a paperweight!
Hope Stephanie gets this health issue addressed soon,, I understand how worrying it is not having answers.
Hope your FIL was able to celebrate his birthday...that is just amazing!
Love
Muriel
xox
MAC22