AliseJ’s Profile

Close Breakups & Divorce

I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 13 years (Sept. 2). We have two great kids, and generally we get along very well. Although I have a right to be angry, I chose not to live my life that way. Together since our teens, we tried therapy but ultimately we were just too far gone. He is moving out in April to an apartment close by, and we've agreed to co-parent our kids.

Treatments

Couples Counseling Not Working

It helped us communicate, but he is just not interested in working it out. He still cares about me, but wants to see if a greener side does exist. Call it his selfish phase. I have learned to accept it, and am looking forward to creating my own happiness and not worrying about his. I know I deserve much more than this.

Family Therapy Too Soon to Tell

The four of us attended a session just after we told them. We wanted to make sure they knew we love them and want them to grow up healthy and happy. As things progress (moving out, selling the house, etc) we will continue to see our family therapist.

Forgiveness Working / Worked

I am learning that forgiving someone is not a feeling, it is just something you do. I can forgive him - it takes a lot of courage to admit that something is not right and to acknowledge that we aren't made for each other.

Reading Working / Worked

Reading some self-help books on marriage and relationships for my next time around. :)

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

I have several close friends from childhood. My mom and my sister have been very supportive. Spending time with my kids helps a lot too.

Support Groups Working / Worked

I'm in this network and am considering group therapy near my home.

Talking Working / Worked

I try to talk it out with people when I can. For now it helps, though it really depends on whether I'm having a good day or a bad day.

Time Working / Worked

The more time that passes, the more accepting I have become. I still have a lot to go through, I realize so I hope to continue a combination of time, talking, support groups and reading to get me through the toughest times ahead.

Close Parenting 'Tweens (9-12)

Soon to be single mom of two girls, ages 10 and 11. They are both well-adjusted and handling the separation well (almost too well, actually) and I would like to keep up with their emotional and physical growth. Hopefully I'll get some good ideas from this group!