bamabm87's Journal

(Note, this is kind of intense with hate)

 Dear Brian,

Well happy birthday. My gift to you is this letter. No matter what you tell yourself we know what happened the fighting and the sex. I don't care if you deny it, we know it  happened. Dad, Mom, Aunt Barb and a few others know. Bar is on my side, Dad belives me, and I dont' know how mom feels but deep down I believe she knows the truth. How does it feel to know that Dad, Mom, and Barb know I've sucked you dick? Kind of hard to digest.

You have been a nightmare on my exsistance. I'm sure someone must of abused you sexually, or at least I hope, for you to do it to me. but that does not make it right.

You beat me up, pushed me around, and used me as a blow up doll. How do you sleep at night? Do you ever ask yourself why I don't think you've changed? It's becfasue I never ever got an apology from you. Nothing, not even for the beatings. You may trick mom and Dad but that facade will only last for so long. I used to uct myself because of you. I look back and you're definately not worth it. You may think you've won and I'm no longer apart of the family but they'll need you someday and you'll be too caught up in yourself, or drunk, or high (yes I'm predicting these things) and they'll need em and the tables will turn again.

The only reason I don't kill myself is so I can keep advocating myself. They will care enough someday to help me and they'll realize how much damaged you've done and there will be resentment.

If I wasn't as strong of a person as I am I would just be locked up in an institution. No matter what lies and denis you spread the truth is known and someday it will come back to haunt you.

You're a horrible human being and a waste of matter. I will never celebrate your birthday. but when the day comes and you die, even if I have to wait until I'm 60, I will dance on your grave someday.

Your favorite brother,

Me

P.S> I'm toally sober, just drunk off of hate, don't act like you didn't know I felt this way.