bamabm87's Journal

So I'm in class and I feel rude about being on my computer but I need to talk to someone.

Well I'm bored at school so I thought baout going to my parents. But then my mother keeps insisting on having Brian in our conversations, worst she uses is fucking childhood nickname, and it's uncomfrotable.

I know her girlfriend has cancer and she's been under the knife twice and has to go into a third time but I'm sick of it. So I said soemthing to her tonight and she's like "He's my son too" she siad she'd try harder but she'll forget about it. I fucking hate this. I'm the bad guy in this situation and he's the fucking goodone. He's a no good stupid piecce of shit. He lives with MY parents and has no job and doesn't go to school. I mean hi I don't live at home, FOR FUCKS SAKE I DON'T HAVE A HOME! I live at school, it's to the point that it's horrible and I can't do it anymorre. What the fuck are their problems?!

I'm about to cry and I'm in class and I still have an hour left.

And I have to work in my group and probably won't be able to hold back my temper.

I just have that feeling in my groin that I've been violated and this violation came from my mother, we were making plans for tomorrow, I may still keep them but I definately am not going to their house. I don't know what my problem was, wishing and hoping that things would change. I do think it's now to the point I need to loose contact with my parents again. It sucks.

So I have to stop talking about it. Before I cry in class.