dragonflydazd's Journal

well today marks another week of sobriety for me and i am thankful for that.  my mind is slowly clearing and irrational thinking i had while still drinking has turned to rational thinking and decision making. 

its funny, i look back at some of the things i have done and i just have to shake my head and laugh.  if i dont laugh i will cry.  this disease has a mind of its own and if it latches on to you, you lose total control over actions and thoughts because it does that for you.  usually with consequences.   i am lucky enough to have recieved help before it got total control of me but i was not far from losing myself totally.  i am thankful for the help and the support i have now.  i am becoming a stronger person because of that.

today is day 70 of my new life of sobriety.  i am thankful for that.  i see each day early, without feeling like shit or having to stay in bed till noon.  i am beginning to enjoy working in my gardens again and do things i enjoy without having to say no because i was too hungover or because i would rather drink.  i am certainly a long way from feeling "well" but i am on the climb up instead of the spiral down.  now if i could only sleep.......

i am still working through issues in my life but now i face them with a sober mind instead of a clouded alcohol induced mind.  i am making decisions that a year ago, even 6 months ago i never thought i would do.  for that i am thankful.  my depression is slowly lifting and i know that will take time but my thoughts of suicide are not overwhelming me and i am thankful for that, especially when i now look at my family. 

i think to myself, if i can be doing this then anyone can.  i feel positive about this and i have two short term goals at this moment.  one is to reach day 90 because i have never made it that far.  second it to reach day 100 because it sounds like such a milestone.  i feel confident and that is huge in itself.  i want to thank the people here who have been such an inspiration and so supportive, they should know who they are.   i am very thankful for meeting them and it only proves what i feel, that people meet for a reason.  thanks.

well thats all for now

heres to another day sober, one day at a time

always

dragonfly