Journal Entry for January 25, 2008
January 25, 2008 10:45am
sorry guys but for reasons that cant b explained i have to leave this website its noting any of u have done wrong tho but please please still keep in …
performer100’s Profile
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performer100
is feeling Bad
About Me
Hi im 18years old and do performing arts at college. I live by myself at the moment but i love my family loads. My hobbies include writing, drama and reading.
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Journal
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Journal Entry for December 17, 2007
December 17, 2007 8:21am
hey. i suppose things are going o.k for me at the moment! my mum and dad are going to court tomorrow tho and my mum was crying last time i went to …
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Journal Entry for December 12, 2007
December 12, 2007 5:50am
oh my god just worked out. i havent had a joint in like A WEEK! omg, whats going on? i need a spliff so bad! lol. ooohh, i exhausted. my house mate …
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Journal Entry for December 10, 2007
December 10, 2007 5:23am
this weekend seemed sooo strange! i didnt have a crazy wkend 4 once! lol.
my mum invited me to sleep hers friday night n to go the cinemas with her- …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hope you are feeling better.
Hug
Still hoping to hear from you. perhaps u been too busy or computer is on the fritz. whatever! your always welcome here!!!
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Hug
hi hope you're blessed to be back with us at daily strength.org. God's blessing be with you always!
Flower
painful intercourse, (i trying to read your profile) can be a lot of things...but one of the more "rare" that doctors need to check more often is varicose veins inside the vaginal wall. i know someone who had this. she says it burst during child birth and the doctors were like oh, that was what it was...now sex is fine for her. i was an art major in college too. i worked as a professional photographer for nine years.
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Prayer
The true God deliver you from the many stresses you told of in your post of 3 weeks ago! Agape love in Jesus' Name bro john t
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Photos
performer100 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Eating Disorders
I have had eating problems for about a year and a half. Im just finished psycotherapy but i dunno- she didnt understand me, she didnt see past my "mask".I had a bit of anorexia, a bit of bulimia, everything really, its ok nw tho bt i stil feel fat somedays. My ED has lost me everythin my family, my freinds... that part of me hates my ed n i perfer ma body nw ive put some wait on, i have tons more energy n things seem mur positicve 2 bt i dunno part of mes clingin onto my ed for control? x
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- didnt really work. it was like she was listening because it was her job too. i need someone to care about me genunily...
Close Adoption
When i was a few months old my birth mum beat up my sister. We had to be adopted and now my adoptive parents have kicked me out, i went to live with my best freind who the kicked me out, i feel like everyone who is supposed to care has left me. I feel alone. My adoption was a long time ago but it still effects me.
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
I had an eating disorder and i am still small shaped but not overlly skinny. i like my bosy this size but wish i could have more boobs and less sthomach, exercise hurts so much tho. any recomendatiosns??
Treatments
- 3 Hour Diet Not Working
- Might work for "healthy" people but not me.
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Not Working
- I avoided carbs for ages but it just made me ill.
- Dancing Working / Worked
- had to do it at college. works but its very hard work and u have to be eating healthily too cause it takes up loadsa energy
Open Homelessness
Ive been kicked out by my parents. Am 18 years old lived in the YMCA hostel i have now moved to shared accomadation with a company called arch. hate it. really want a place of my own so i can be "me" and settle down but everythings so chaotic at the moment. theres lots of noise, drugs, booze and partys...i just wanna do my college work and settle down a bit.
Open Self-Injury
I have self injured since i was about 11. It was always just "little scratches" but i have been hospitalised for it once recently when i cut too deep. Sometimes i cant stand emotional pain, id rather physical pain and things just build up so much. theres way too much pressure in my head atm. Just to let you know im there for you.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- i went to psycotherapy 4 my eating problems and SI but she never once mentioned/asked me about either of these things, she just wanted to talk about my family. wtf?
- Red Marker Not Working
- it just looked like red pen to me? might work 4 some people tho but it did nothing for me.
- Squeezing Ice Somewhat Helpful
- this gives u te numb feeling u need. its actually quite good...
- Talking Not Working
- I just find people...dont U N D E R S T A N D.
Open Anxiety
Well i dont really know what to say. Sometimes things just get too much, even little things. I dont know how to react normally to small problems anymore. I feel things are out of control.
Open Family Issues
Why dont my parents want me? My mum and dad recently split up, then my mum kicked me out. I didnt do anything wrong, we never got on and she says she is trying to protect my younger brothers because she thinks im not "normal" i hate her but i love her, and my dad too. My dad used to hit me. Im 18 and my whole family is messed up. I feel like no ones there for me, why does everyone leave me???
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
- no one listens to me.
Open Insomnia
Im not sure if i have insomnia or not. Please help me to decide this. Some days i sleep fine, some days i can sleep for up to 21 hours at a time and sometimes i cant sleep all night. Is this normal?
Open Rape
i got wrecked form cocaine and feel asleep last saturday. i woke up and someone was having sex with me.
Open Anemia
everyone thinks im anemic, going to have a test done soon..dont know much, can anyone help?
Open Cocaine Addiction & Recovery
well m not addicted and id like to think ive stopped now. tried coke, did it every weeekend for about a month. havent touched it in 3 weeks now...
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
wouldnt say im addicted but i smoke weed almost every night..i can go without weed but i stress if i do. been smoking it since july07.
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
omg, i used to abuse perscription drugs all the time...tried to kill myself like this on several occasions. havent done it in months now, went thru a stage of abusing laxatives, diet pills, water pills etc with my eating disorder ***dont ever do that- 1.you wont loose weight 2. youl be constantly ill! i also used to abuse paracteomol, diabetic tablets anything i could find.
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
i dont know if i have this. never been diagnosed but i do loadsa weird stuff n it increases when im under stress. i hate dirt, eveything gotta b in straight lines n all the doors and windows have to be checked 4 times. is this anxeity or OCD or am i just a perfectionist n how will i know??
Open Panic Attacks
had a few panic attacks when things get 2 much
Open Depression
went thru a stage of complete depression, didnt even know what i was doing. who i was etc... im ok now tho, just have bad days sometimes.
Open Healthy Sex
haha! rather not! lets just say i should be in the "unhealthy sex" catogary.
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
diagnosed with IBS in june after i started eating normally again from lots of laxative absue and a poor diet due to an eating disorder. it now hurts me to eat physically and i always have to go the toilet straight after!
Treatments
- Mebeverine Not Working
- didnt do anything 4 mw
- Spasmonal Working / Worked
- helped take away the pain
Open Painful Intercourse
omg, cant belive theres even a community on this! sex ALWYAS really hurts me. whats wrong with me??
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