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Journal Entry for April 29, 2007 Mood
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Going to see my doc tomorrow. They have me diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis, cervical spine. Been that way for years while i was parked. mercifully, on pain meds. I'm going to try to get them to recognize things I've learned myself in the last 6 months. After all, I'm the one who found the answer, not them, but how often do they really listen to the patient?

I found info on Mayo Clinic among other places that suggest that the dents in my head may actually be resulting in a sustained closed brain injury. Several symptoms fit: I have difficulty concentrating, even so far as being a little slow.and I always hear a noise like jets in the tarmac. Sometimes I think it analogous to a bugs bunny cartoon where the character has stars spinnning arond his head after getting hit with an anvil.

Since the correction by NCR 6 months ago of the grueling pain that had me on high doses of morphine, I've enjoyed life on no pain meds, and only contending with the remaining symptoms, constant, but steady at maybe 5% of what I endured for so long. There are depressions in the top of my skull that I believe put pressure right on the frontal lobe of my brain. It feels like physical interference and physical symptoms support that, i believe.

It explains a big part of my trouble getting back to a normal life, 6 months into my recovery from the severe levels of pain. It explains why writing this is so much harder than it should be. It explains why i get such a tough 'writers block' about anythying i try to plan or envision. I seem only to be able to handle today as it comes along, not make plans for next day or next week. Lots of short term memory glitches, etc.

Since being relieved of so much of the head and neck pain condition, i can see the rest of it more clearly, I can also see how to achieve more recovery... now to figure out how to afford it$$? If it improves my cognative funciton enough to return to work i did before, computer programming, my income will double or better, cart before the horse this is !!

I'm going to ask my doctor to consider diagnosing a brain injury, skull injury, PTSD and Post Concussion Syndrome, and then prescribe an alpha-stim for some of the ptsd symptoms, and allow me to continue NCR treatments for the actual physical correction of my skull injury. I hope they don't treat me like i'm crazy - cuz sometimes it sounds that way to me. Yet, I believe it's the truth underlying my 12 year struggle and the remaining sysmptoms.

I lost confidence in the VA, big time, since I had to go and find an answer to the pain on my own, they remain clueless... I hope this is well received tomorrow... wish me luck.

I believe NCR can relieve a lot of damage and therefore, pain, from head injuries, without surgery. Obviously, not shrapnel, but concussion type injuries are what it excels at. Someday the VA should embrace it for our Iraq vets who, lord knows, get more than their share of blows to the head.

Off my soapbox now, have a great sunday all.
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