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katJ's Journal

Journal Entry for January 21, 2007 Mood

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I am more in control now, but this morning, as I was shoveling snow in our driveway, I just stopped and went inside and all of a sudden it did not seem real.

I kept on saying "NO, NO, NO" over and over again and then came the crying-I did not expect this-I should know better, but everytime I think about it, I have a HUGE ACHE and the tears come.

I love this site it is very comforting.

I will try not to get too emotional on the site.

Thanks for all the people who have emailed me.

Hug katJ

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Comments

Shoveling snow - wow, I thought I was the only one who experienced a bad time. That was his job and what do I know about using the snowblower. I cried the whole time and then I got angry and then there was a sense of empowerment. I could almost here his voice saying, "See, I knew you could do it."

You don't know better. This is all too new and frightening. You have made me see that others are out there that are going through the same thing and that I'm not a freak. Thank you for that!

IagoRule
Don't you worry about getting "too emotional" here, that is what is for. If we can't get emotional with one another here, then where can we? You will only end up keeping it locked in and then one day you will explode, and you don't want that, it isn't good to hold back...LET 'ER RIP! We can take it! (((((HUGS))))) Kat

JonsKat
i think this is one of the only places where it is acceptable to let loose all of our emotions and i hope you find the courage to take advantage of this because only through a certain amount of greiving can we heal.its been 5 years since my mother died and im still not over it, but i dont cry everyday, or even every week. i still think of her, but more of the good memories than of the ones that hurt.im not over it but im better.better than i ever have been in these last handful of years.i know you have the strength in you to pull through, you just have to find it in yourself.good luck and goodnight kat.im here if you need to vent or talk to someone thats lost a loved one.

danger2love