siddler's Journal

Journal Entry for September 20, 2007 Mood

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Argghhhhhh....I have relapsed and spent the last 24 hours smoking crack. After 8 months of sobriety. There were various triggers that contributed to my relapse like excess money and time off work. Plus I don't think I ever fully accepted that I don't want to do crack again. I had some lingering desires for it which I think were vanquished this time with all the BS. I truly think this was my last time, which I say every time LOL. But this one was different. I'm not very eloquent right now so I better not say too much. But I will be dissecting my relpase in hopes of understanding in detail what caused it.

Hug siddler

Send to a Friend

Comments

You know, sometimes it takes a relapse to confirm your last time. That's what I have been told by recovering addicts... they realize how much worse the regret makes them feel and then they just keep going. Forgive yourself and just keep going. You will be ok. :)

lonekitsune
Also, are there any meetings in your area you can go to? I would look into that... there should be some. You should also, when you get a lot of cash at once, just purchase a money order and stick it immediately in the bank. :)

lonekitsune
I never really had any ties with people that smoke crack. Some of my friends did cocaine. Staying up all night doing that stuff and then wanting more is what led me to go out and find crack eventually. I have recently cut ties with my old friends. I haven't hung out with them since my relapse. Thanks for your comments :-)

siddler