joybells's Journal

I feel so bad this morning.my husband made me feel worthless last night.He had the nerve to compare me to his ex wife right before we were intimate.Needless to say,I didn't feel like it after that.What he had hurt and I did not want to see him this morning.I don't want to hear meaningless words of apology.I want to see actions.Right now I don't want to see him or hear his voice.It made for a very bad night for me.He told me I need to see a doctor to get help for my sexual problem.Well,I am.I have been for years.I was raped in our house by his cousin.There are just certain things my husband just can not do or I get horrible flashbacks and I have told him t6his I don't know how many times but he just doesn't get it.Truth be told my husband need to learn how to make love to a woman.He doesn't know how.His skills need improvement.I love my husband very much but he can be very hurtful.He also needs to shower more often.Sometimes John just doesn't get it.I have been through so many bad things.I am going to therapy every month and I really don't need thr pressure from him added to the stress I already have going on.I have another therapy session tomorrow.I think I really do need it.