TrishW's Journal

It's going to be quite warm today, I can already tell.  My day is fairly well mapped out:  I'm making the morning mine - no rush to get anything done.  This afternoon, the boys and I are heading for town - glass, cans, cardboard, and paper to the recycle center; special drinks/treats for them for helping on the recycle run (a tradition); shopping for yarn for Ryan; making sure i get anything Robert and/or Kevin need; a few groceries;  working here in the family room when I get back home; and seeing if there's anything Jess wants me to get done today.

Something tells me I could actually be done w/the family room reorganization SOONER than Monday!  I was surveying things last evening, and I thinkI actually have more than 45% of it done already!  I think I was being conservative - cautious - with my estimations.

Once this goal is complete, I think I'll do the Family Emergency Plan before I head back to the garage for Phase 2 fulltime.  For the life of me, I don't know where or how I finally came upon the motivation and perseverance to get these projects done around here, but I'm not complaing.  And I don't think Jess is, either! LOL 

Possibly it's because, for the very first time in my life, I found a pdoc who has taken a sincere interest in my health holistically, and has focused treatment on stabilizing my moods along with stabilizing my fibromyalgia pain.  I think taking a mood stabilizer for the first time in my life is a god(dess)-send.  No pdoc has ever done more than switch me around on different antidepressants before. 

I never knew what life could feel like without oppressive anxiety and depression constantly.  Until this past year, that is.  And, having finally felt that - had that experience, when I destabilized back in the late fall again, I knew I wanted to get back to where i was again.  It ended up taking months, but being healthy" feels so good!  This is how I want to be!  So I want to do everything I can to keep myself in this space as much as possible now.

I think feeling this well for the first time in my life - after only remembering almost 55 years of black depression and high anxiety - I'm just so happy and energized that I now want to do all the sorts of things I've had no energy or motivation to do for so long. 

I might be able to do more, faster, if not for fibro and arthritis, but this is the way it is.  I refuse to allow illness to dictate the content, pace, or focus of my life.   Maybe I have to pace myself and go slower.  Maybe things take longer for me to accomplish w/fibro and arthritis, but so be it!  Just finally getting them done is a huge accomplishment for me!!  I will NOT allow fibro and arthritis to keep me down or hold me back.  Life's too short and I'm already 55! 

I'm happy this morning.  Looking forward to the rest of this day.  If I get done what I plan to do, I'll be ready to rest by late afternoon!

So be it.  Life is good.

Namaste.