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This is Jade's Mum here i don't really know where to start this letter as it may come as a shock to her friends on here i will also be sending this to her friends who she speaks to, for them to know what is happening!
I had NO idea what so ever that my daughter was feeling this way untill Yesterday Friday 28th September!
This is so hard for me to write and is taking me some time to do so... please bear with me
My beautiful daughter commited suicide on Wednesday night in between the hours of 10-12
She left me a letter with this website and her username and password and told me to come and say Goodbye and that she was so sorry. I didnt want to come on here because this is her private profile but it was her final wish so here i am doing this long painfull letter to you all!!
Here's a bit about my beautiful daughter, I gave birth to a lovely pretty baby girl on 26th April 1989 and named her Jade Louise she weighed 6 pound 1 she was the most beautiful little girl i'd ever seen in my life she was my baby girl... i am going to miss her so much i know she thought bad of me and didnt think that i loved her but i really do i love her with all my heart i just wish i had just one last minute with her to tell her that i loved her!
Jade had her problems she struggled with an eating disorder for 3 years of her life and was to the point of death but pulled through i miss her so much
I am so sorry to have to break this news to you all like this as i know you all to have some problems but it was my little girls last wish i am going to keep coming on here for a little while so please if you have any questions at all i am here i know she was a part of all your lives aswell so im here for you all!
God Bless
i'm so sorry. i cant even express it in words. i have tears in my eyes. i'm also upset that a family does not feel this kind of a childs pain, without being told.
i can only say; you, and this world have lost a beautiful, sweet, and caring soul, and all of us mourn for her passing. this is as tragic as life gets. she was loved and will be so terribly missed. you must know that she said some beautiful things to me, about you as her mother in messages. she was beautiful ...and a gentle spirit that breaks my heart to have lost. i'm sorry that this will be felt by you so deeply. i wish it would have turned out differently. i know she loved you, but the depression clouded her vision. it takes such courage and strength for you to write about this i know. others would have never attempted it, and your a credit to your daughter. may God bless her, and take her in his arms now, and give her peace.
all my love and care.
dennis
warmheart
You have my condolences. The loss of your little girl is a great loss to your family, and ours. Daily strength is here so that people an hopefully talk out the feelings they live with. I am truly sorry I have two children of my own, and can't imagine what you are feeling. We can hope that she is now in Gods loving hands.
With Love to You and Yours,
Tadd
EhaEha
Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry to hear what has happened. This is so sad. I've lost a loved one to suicide, and I know how bad it hurts. Thankyou so much for sharing this with us. Words fail, but we do care.
zazasgranny
im so sorry...i didnt know ur daughter very well but i did tlk 2 her quite alot on here...im actually crying at reading this!! i wish u all the best n im gunna miss her...take care xxxx
anon2
i pray for you and your family.....my heart goes out to you....
darlasu
Thank you so much for coming here and telling us of this heartbreaking news. My condolences to you. Tell Jade we love her!
Cerridwen5
I'm very sorry to hear that and I offer my condolences to you and your family. I know the pain you have and I also know the cycle of emotions you might be going through. I did not know her well but it hurts just the same. Your family will be in my prayers.
Machina
I am so sorry for your loss madame...I am just so sorry. Jade's story will be in my heart forever. I am so sorry for your loss. This is a tragedy.
Persephoneo
i'm really sorry! thank you for letting us all know, she was very loved here and we will all miss her. she/u and ur family will be in my prayers.
kayrl
I just learned of this today. I am so terribly sorry. I lost my sister 9 years ago in the same way. I have watched my mother suffer everday of her life since it happened. I suffer her loss as well. Please try to remember that you did all you could to help her. My mother blames herself still to this day and she was the best mother on this earth. God bless you
sheila- blondelexus
blondelexus
I am so sorry - my heart goes out to you and your family
whyme26
Unfortunately I never got to know Jade, but she sounds like a wonderful girl and I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a 19 year old daughter and I can only imagie how I'd feel if something happened to her. My thoughts are with you and your family.
maridon
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter! I have no words to express it. Life can be a formidable place when one is so young and having problems. PLEASE don't let this destroy you. I know your daughter loved you, and even tho she might not have said it, she KNEW you loved her as well. Such deep depression can cause young people to do things that have nothing to do with YOU as her mum, and they don't really realize the finality of death. I'm sure you did all you could not knowing the depth of her problems. My heart goes out to you and your family, and someday you will be with your precious daughter again!
dalecl
i am so sorry for your family.
Bellastina
From my family to yours, our deepest condolences. We will ppray the Rosary for her and your family. We have beautiful 14 year old daughter and wonderful 12 year old son. I would be heartbroken if something like that happened to either one.
uphigh2
I'm so sorry. I know she is smiling from heaven and looking down at us all. May she find the peace that she has been looking for and know that she is loved.
ranger7722000
Im So Sorry, I Didnt Ever Talk To Jade, But I Heard On A Depresion thing That Shed Died I Have Tears In My Eyes Xx
Herr
I am so sorry.x As well as being on this site, l am also a therapist..so if you need to talk...talk away. So you see l am real go to my website
www.elemaitch.co.uk
If there is anything l can do..please ask.xxx Lynda
toolboxcounsellor
No words....Just love and prayers.
Jenni
jcjennib
I am sorry for your loss and you and your family are in my thoughts.
sadeeyore
i pray that jade's pain is gone and that your family finds the strength to get through this difficult time
butterflylady747
my deepest condolences to you and your family. Please continue to come to the site it might help you.i know several people here have lost loved ones to suicide. I know they will support you as you struggle to start your life over. please know i care and wish you comfort.
jeandebra
I'm so sorry fo your loss. I didn't know your daughter but I can understand her desperation. I was there myself a few years ago but luckily checked myself in a mental clinic. Please don't blame yourself. I'll pray for you to find some kind of comfort and peace.
Karrin
I am so sorry for your loss x
stix24
I am so sorry for all of you.
Kazmin
I am sorry. :-(
liltiger
I am so sorry for your loss as well for the grief you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
rosemae
im so so sorry. i didnt know ur daughter to well. i talked a little bit on here and omg i dont even know what to say. we shared a lot of the same problems and feelings and i just cant believe this news. im really sorry for your loss she will be sadly missed
daddyslittlegirl90
I unfortunately didn't know Jade~DS has so many members it is hard to meet everyone. Your story/her story breaks my heart. I am so sorry for the pain she endured and that she felt this desperate act was an answer.
I am so sorry to you, her dear mom for losing your daughter. Being a mom, I know what that bond is like between mother and children. You couldn't have known everything that she was thinking~so please do not blame yourself.
My prayers will be with you and your family going through this grieving process and for Jade; that her soul finds peace and comfort.
Please know that DS is a strong community and even though we can't know everyone personally are part of one big family and try to offer prayer and support wherever it is needed.
May you find comfort here~knowing that people from all over the world cared for your daughter.
God bless;
Restlessheart.
restlessheart
I am so very sorry to hear that the depression got to the best of her. It is a tough battle. Don't blame yourself Hun cause it is the depression and it does cloud our rational way of thinking. May the Creator give you strength. She will be missed. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
pisim64
My heart goes out to you and your family..your daughter will be greatly missed and was truly loved. My prayers are with you at this time..take care..xo
dlg1023
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl,please know you can come to me anytime,I would love to do all I can to comfort you,again I am so sorry.
renwood
renwood
You and your family have my heart felt condolences. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your daughter. God bless you and your family.
lesliew
I have a daughter..and I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing my daughter to suicide. Jade must have been in alot of pain . I read her journal entries and I could feel her deep sadness and pain. This is truly tragic , truly. I pray that the Angels are with her and God is comforting her heart. I pray that she is at peace and out of the horrible pain she was in, here on Earth. I pray that you find peace and comfort in knowing that she loved you. We her, at DS offer our support as you go thru the days and months ahead. I am so sorry for your loss. Serenity55
serenity55
I am so very sory for your loss. There is no worse pain than that of losing a child. As parents, our wish is that we be waiting to welcome them with open arms when they arrive to spend eternity with us. Eating disordes are exhausting to fight, as I know all illnesses are. God be with you and your family as you mourn the loss of your daughter and attempt to cope with the emptiness you have for her being gone from this earth. Amen. Love, Hope and Eternal Peace, dear Jade Louise. Cheryl
nanaofbailee
I am so sorry. Thank you for letting us know. You and your family are in my prayers.
looloo
I never new Jade18,but it still saddens me to hear about the loss. I wish you and your family much comfort and prayers in your time of need.
kfisher77
First of all...thank you for the courage it took to come here and tell us about Jade. It took alot love to honor her last request.
Secondly...I didn't know Jade...but I could identify with her. I am almost 57 now..but, up until my late 40's, I was in and out of mental hospitals because of depression and anxiety. I can understand her deep depression...as I attempted suicide MANY times. I even came close a couple of times. Even though I might have tried to put some things on my Mom...I loved (and love) her with all of my heart. Depression is a hard thing to fight. You feel trapped in a casing so dark that it smothers you.
I say all of that..to say this: Please don't blame yourself. It is easy for those left behind to blame themselves. No one will ever know if she could have pulled out of it.
God does everything for a purpose. Perhaps, someone reading this (that was thinking of suicide) might now see your pain and decide not to do it. Perhaps Jade just saved some lives.
My heart aches and grieves with you.
If you decide to stay on DS (and I encourage you to do so...the folks here are full of love and you get alot of support by others who understand) I encourage you to talk about your feelings...reach out. You know that Jade wouldn't want you to fall into the same pit of depression that took her.
With much love and compassion....
Carrie
KansasGal
I am sorry for your loss.. I did not get to know Jade. You are in my prayers...
kiska
lov hugs an prayers to u an yur family durin this very difficult time........ if there is anyway i can help please jus ask.........Diane
DianeE
I am so sorry. I didnt know her. You are in my thoughts and prayers. If you need anything I am here. God Bless You.
NannaB
jades mom... im really sorry about this unfortunate situation. im so sorry. i wish we could have done more to help your daughter but maybe since we couldnt save her we can make sure you are okay. some of us might be young but you would be surprised at how much we have been through. god bless you and your family. may you have much better days.
ABrow
I messaged you also, but I am so sorry for your loss and I am here if you need me. I think you should consider setting up an account here for support if you need it.
samjo06
jades mum, all her family. i am so sorry for your loss. i apologise for my poor spelling but my eyes are full of tears. i am so sorry i could not help your daughter. A lot of us felt her pain as we also feel the same. thats what brings us 2 this site. we try so hard to help each other, save each other from the pain that drives us 2 death being our only option. i am so sorry that we let your angel fall. plz no our thoughts and prayers are with your family. plz no that although we may be young and far away, weve all been through a lot on here and at least on here your daughter was given friendship, understanding and acceptance. dont feel that she was always down. take care u no where we are now, plz write. x
law23
Devastated at your loss and wish I could bring her back XXX Sending your family and her friends all my love xxx
MOooser
For Jade's family and friends, especially her Mother...I am heartbroken for your loss. I am fairly new to Daily Strength and had not had the opportunity to come across her profile here yet. From what i have read though, she had a lot of friends who cared deeply for her. I can honestly say that i have been down the road of contemplating suicide myself. And although i knew i had people who cared about me, i still felt like my life was over, due to the many health issues i have had and the lack of finding doctors who would help me. Fortunately, i did get my emergency back surgery and its a start. And on those hard days i just have to remind myself of my children, family and friends and think of all of my new family at Daily Strength that have helped pull me out of the depression quicksand.
Jade may have been hurting and suffering too bad for anyone to help her, but she did leave a small gift behind. Her letter that said she was sorry and goodbye to her daily strength family was also a way for her to connect her mother with her friends and perhaps Jade knew her daily strength family would be there for her mother to help her thru her time of sorrow. Please check into the groups of Bereavement and Families Affected By Suicide. And know that you don't have to suffer alone. Reach out to this site or to Jade's friends who want to be there for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
GimpyBear
You and your family are in my thoughts. xxx
manda1976
With tears, I have read of your recent loss. There are no words that can possibly be said to stop the pain I know you feel. Although I do not belong to the same communities your daughter did, I too suffer severe depression. My family at first didn’t understand the “whys†of my behaviour until recently, when diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. They now are better equipped, to help me with my re-occurring sadness. I wish that you were given that same opportunity. I want you to know how much I appreciate the strength and courage that it has taken you to come here today and share your feelings during this terrible time. I can't help but feel as if somehow our “community†has failed your daughter. Failed to guide her through her darkest hours. My heart hurts for you at this moment in your life, and may your family find comfort and peace in the future. I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your child.
angelwatching
I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl! My heart goes out to you, since I am a mother as well, of three teens. Please rest assured that God will help her now. I know that may be a small comfort, but you can come here as well, and get some comfort from all who grieve w/you, and for you. She will be missed!
frndsrgldn
mr heart cries fopr your pain now and the loss one so beautiful.....I did not know here but being a parent all our kids are beautiful..she is now a star in the sky at night to always shine on you..I will keep you in my prayers for comfort and strength
barbra2
Love and light surround you and your family to bring you healing and peace of mind.
SuziQandCats
God bless you...your daughter can rest now. She sounded so tired. Depression is an illness. It is not your fault...
bluemoon29
My heart goes out to you. I am deeply sorry to hear the loss of your daughter.
yecart
so sorry. I hope you will find strength to deal with this tragedy. so sorry.
myk
I will pray for you and your family...please stay connected to this website
renap
I'am sooooo sorry for your loss.......I pray you find the strength to make it through this difficult time.....God bless........
StressedinOregon
im so sorry for your loss off your daughter
cbear36
i sent her huggz like everyday letting her know shes not alone and im thinkin and praying for her. i am so sorry to hear this news. if there is my husband and i can do please let us know hun. ure in our prayers and i will continue to pray and hold onto my faith as i knw this is a hard time. i too am a mother and i couldnt even imagine. my trubs dnt matter rite now so plse let ua know if theres anything.....karen
troubled2
My condolences, to your family, be at peace, no words are needed anymore, your baby knows you love her.
.
Your time has come too soon, fly free lttle angel,
RIP Jade.
nadine62
Thanks you for being brave enough to come up here and tell us. I can't imagine what you're going through.
Your daughter gave you a gift - Daily strength is a wonderful place for support. I hope you will stay.
Thriver
So sorry, for your loss. I know what you are going through. My father in law committed suicide, and the guilt is just so overwelming. Contact your mental health association or the united way and they would know where there are berievement classes. They are usually free of charge, they will help you, to make so sense out of this tragedy. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs Barb
boobooplace
im sorry for ur loss :( :'(
seaway
i don't know how to express how sorry i am for what happened...this small comment doesn't do your daughter justice...but i wish that you and yours will be able to pull through. my condolences.
lickedbyemily
I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved daughter. This must be such a difficult time for you, and you do need time to grieve. It really was quite a shock to read your message. I will be here for you in spirit.
Mamacares
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this most terrible time of your life. I wish I had known your daughter. I didn't but she was so loved on this site as we can all see. My the Lord be with you and yours.
gghcgail
I AM SO SORRY, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
childofgrace
i am so sorry for your loss
babybear
ill keep praying for your family
darkthirst
ill keep praying for your family
darkthirst
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePy...
this is a song, that brought an emotion to me, and made me think of the situation..... u just click and it should automatically play....
I'M SO SORRY FOR UR FAMILYS' LOSS, I'M SURE JADE WAS A BEAUTIFUL, CARING GIRL, AND I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW HER.. BUT IT DOESNT CHANGE MY SORROW AND HOPE. MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO U AND YOUR FAMILY, MUM. MAY THIS GRIEVING PROCESS BE AS PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE,, MUCH LOVE, ADRIENNE
Adrienne28
I'm so sorry for you loss. I didn't know Jade but I know that she will be missed. May God's blessing's rain on you and your family.
campbell1984
I am so very ,very sorry.You are in my thoughts and in my daily prayers
God bless you!
hopeful2007
I am so very sorry for your loss..My prayers are with u and your family right now..xxx
bathsheba
I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. You can see that your daughter was well-loved.
JayLGee2
I didn't know Jade, but as you can see, word gets around when someone in our support group is in need. My prayers are with you and Jade. Questions? No. But if you would, why don't you become a member and find the love and support your daughter had. It will give you strength. Again, my prayers are with you. God bless, James
electro52
I am so sorry for your loss I did'nt know her but she seemed very loved
Sammy1435
I did not know Jade,but I offer my sympathies to you and pray you find comfort in knowing that she rests now in God's loving arms.
littlewing
I am so sorry for your loss...I didn't know Jade either, but just being on DS makes us one big family here. God Bless you all.
TLCDaisy
You and your family are in my daily thoughts and prayers.
GodsLittleOne
I am so sorry, please accept my condolences....your precious angel is at peace, I will pray for you to find peace too. I can't even express what pain my heart is feeling for you. I am a mom too, and my heart is breaking for you.
hiareth
I am so very sorry--My thoughts and prayers will be with you. I have also had a daughter die and my heart breaks for you because I can truely understand--
indianjellybean
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
darkmistress
For Jade's Family: My condolences on the loss of your baby girl. As a parent, I am at a loss for words and so saddened to hear this news. May God bless you and your family through this tragedy and forever.
Lots of love to you,
Danielle
happy1day
I didn't get a chance to meet your daughter, but, like someone said, we are one big family here and when something like this happens we all hurt. I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family.
GRUMPYMOM
we all DO hurt during times like this...prayers and love to you and your family!!
jamminjamie79
im soo sorry for your loss i didnt know your daughter but my heart breaks for you and your family>>>
marilu
i just got online tonight, and read this sad news, JADE WAS A very loving , kindred spirit, i shared several times with her, in her darkest hours, because i too, have the same thing, as parents we have no clue, to what goes on in our childs minds,I have lost a few very special people to this tragedy, words cannot exspress my sympathy for u, and please stay here and know that were all here for u, i,m a mother too,and have almost lost my daughter to diabetes so many times, JADE told me how much she loved you, she will FOREVER BE IN MY HEART AND SO WILL YOU! MAY GOD GIVE YOU COMFORT, MY FAMILYSENDS OUR CONDOLENCES! MUCH LOVE, WILDTHING!
wildthing
I'm sorry for your loss. Bless you and your family.
Prairie
I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR U LOSS AND I AM PRAYING FOR UR FAMILY. I DIDNT KNOW UR DAUGHTER BUT I BET SHE WAS GREAT. SORRY AGAIN CHRISTINA =(
GODBLESSMYBABY
I am so sorry for your loss, you and your family will be in my prayers.
alltornupinside
I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS EVEN THOU I DIDN'T KNOW HER.EXCEPT MY CONDOLENCES.
BSPUNKY
I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers daily.
sja
sorry for your loss:( i hope she is at peace
TrB22
Now I didn't know your daughter but I give my respects. I am sorry for your loss.
actorboy
I did not know Jade18, but she will be deeply missed by her friends here on DS because when someone joins, they become one of our own. My deepest sympathy for you and her family.
Mars
I did not know your daughter but I admire you for communicating to all the people on the site. I feel so badly for her that she felt there was no way out other than putting everything to a hault and for you to realize that she was so very sad. We never think our children will go before us. I experienced the death of a brother in his 20s from heart failure. I saw what it did to my mom. Please get a good therapist to help you through this. If you can't afford it, many go on a sliding scale to accomodate you. My sincere sympathy to you and all the people who loved your daughter. Lee
lee20
i would just like to send you my deepest condolences.im sorry i didnt know jade very well,as there are such alot of people here at ds,but as a mum my self,i cant imagine how you must be feeling ,not even knowing how your precious daughter was hurting.please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.god bless jade louise,rest in peace,safe in gods arms.
please know that we are\all here for you if you need to talk about your daughter or just need a friend.
Rocky7
I'm so sorry for your trouble. I hope you and your family can find support and comfort here knowing how much your daughter was loved and appreciated. Blessings.
Halterbroke
For you her family i'm sorry.May she now rest in God's loving arms where she is perfect and happy
kalei
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, words are so inadequate at a time like this. My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts, Love Viv XXX
Vivienne
i am so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you and your family.
mediccollins
I am really sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I tried to commit suicide and I survived, and that was the worst pain I put my mom through. I give my condolences and I hope that you and your family can cope with her being in a better place. I didn't get a chance to know her, but I'm sure she was a wonderful person. I'll be praying for you and your family. God bless you.
pizzaslice8302
Heavens!!! I just heard about this....I am SO sorry!!! Please know, you are welcome here on Daily Strength -- there is a bereavement community, a space "formomsonly" for moms who have lost their children - and a family of suicide community as well....the person in my avatar is my 24 1/2 year old son I lost to suicide a little over 2 years ago. Please feel free to message me any time you want to...
starfish
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I didn't know Jade, but my daughter is almost 16 and is going through what Jade went through. I hope and pray that you will find peace. I am working with my daughter daily with her disorders and hope she will brow into a beautiful young woman who has no boundaries when she reaches adulthood. I can't imagine my life without her, although we had a close call about a year ago, so I can understand your pain. When she was in the hospital the thought of breaking sobriety was soooo close that the pain of losing her woke me up and I thank god daily that she is still with me...We have good weeks and bad weeks but with the help of God I know she will get through (I hope). I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers for many many days and nights to come. Please feel free to write if you ever need to talk or just to vent to someone. My heart is with you always..Again, I am sooooo sorry for your loss.
m007ljh31
I am so sorry for your loss, Jade will always be in your heart.
celticmumma
i just don't know what to say i read you entery and i just cryed i did'nt know jade but i just wanted to say how sorry i an for your loss and just hope jade is now at peace with herself
nikkibrow
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! I'm so sorry for your sorrow and loss!! Jade is with the angels, and looking down on you. Many hugs to you!! xxxxx
nixfix
Dont hesitate to lean on us her at DS, was moved ot tears when I read the news, Sending you all my love and prayers Amanda xx
Ladya
I did not know your beautiful daughter, but my heartaches for you and for her. You have my deepest sympathy.
dreamwriter
Im am so sorry for your loss
hiya19
I am so sorry, I will be praying for all of you. Words can not express how I feel for you all at this time. My heart goes out to all of you.
livinginfear
I am so sorry for your loss...May God give you strength and comfort....and may your daughter find eternal peace....
metoday
I'm not sure what to say. I will definatley be praying for your family. I, too, encourage you to find support here and through a therapist. I joined DS only a week or so ago and I find myself here a couple of times a day. Its great when you're struggling and need someone to lean on who's walked in your shoes. I am sorry for your loss. I wish I could have talked to her... Andie
andietufw04
I am so terribly sorry to read this as well. This website is the first place that I have to come to tell people about my eating disorder. To know that someone in this online community is so desperate as to choose suicide just breaks me up and strengthens me in my resolve to get all the professional help that I possibly can. I know it is terrible for a parent to see a child predecease them. I hope desperately that you find closure. I will say a prayer for you.
RickUK
You have my deepest sympathies. But, your little girl is living a better life now - no eating disorders, no depression, no cuttings, no lonliness. God bless you, and I will continue to pray for you. Love and many hugs, Vicki
Vteacher
I didn't no jade but my hart does go out to you. i am praying to you and you whole family
kennady
I am so saddened by this news. My heart is breaking for you, mum. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling. God be with you.
standstrong
My deepest sympathies are with you & your family during this heart-breaking time. I think you are an amazingly courageous woman to have informed the DS community of your loss.
I hope that she finds the peace in paradise that eluded her in life.
CurvyKate
so sorry for your loss,i cant imagine the pain you and your family are going through now and the days to come.im here if you need a friend,love and prayers,carol
carol10
Im realy sorry, i know what its like to lose someone close but not as close as a child, although i did not know yor daught