amberc's Journal

Journal Entry for September 14, 2007 Mood

Friday, September 14, 2007

Once again it has been awhile since I wrote. I am still staying strong on both of my quits. It will be 3 months no cigarettes on Tuesday. I'm 12 days behind that with my marijuana. I just wanted to write a little about the situation with my dad as I am struggling. I'm not sure if I have wrote about any of this so I will give you some background info. My dad has been battling blatter cancer for a couple of years now. He found out several months ago that it has also sprung up in his hip bone and 2 tumors on his right pelvis. He went through one type of chemo with a lot of hope. It made him pretty sick. When he went back for a check up on it, the chemo hadn't touched the cancer. He went for a second type of chemo. He lost all his hair from this one. We hoped that meant that it went through his body more and was doing some good. He just went back to UVA on Wednesday to find out that the cancer has gotten bigger than it has been yet. Also if it hasn't came through the wall of the bladder yet, that it was close to it. If it does, it will just spread even more quickly and to other parts of the body. So they gave him 3 options. Go home and die (nice, huh?), a final type of chemo, or radiation. There is only a 20% chance of the chemo working and a 20% chance of the radiation working. Otherwise, there is no hope. He isn't a candidate for the surgery to remove the bladder yet because the cancer is so large. This has had me really depressed over the past few days. My dad is one of the only people that really understands me. The person that I always went to when I had a problem. I watched my grandma, his mom, die a painful death from cancer a few years back. I don't know if I can handle watching my dad die that way. We had so much hope when all this started because there were so many options. Our hopes are slowly lowering because nothing is working. Just needed to get all of this out of me. Hope everyone else is well.

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Comments

Oh Amber I feel really bad about your dad. It's so sad. Cancer is a horrible disease. I don't know why so many people are getting it. I know 5 people now who have it. God bless you and I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. Hugs to you. XOXOXO PS. Your quit is coming along wonderful.

irisheyes3
Don't give up hope yet. With God, all things are possible. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. I love you. Vicki

Vteacher
You and your family will be in my prayers!!

Shinesun