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Well I had my follow up appointment this afternoon. I really got myself worked up before we went, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I thought to myself...my baby is gone and there is nothing more that could upset me right now so just try and relax. Of course there was a newborn baby in the waiting room. I don't expect never to see babies again but seeing them just tugs on my heart strings a bit. The last time I was at the office was when they told me I was probably going to miscarry. Sitting there waiting was bringing everything back, I was glad to have my husband there with me. Anyways the doctor didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. First miscarriage...chromosomal abnormalities...blah blah blah. I guess the "products of conception" (don't u luv how they call it that ) that I brought to the lab was just a very large blood clot. The doctor took out everything else during the D&C. I got my period Monday so the doctor said I should wait one more cycle and we could try again. The thought of trying again makes me happy, almost giddy....then I start to think about things and I bring myself down. I know someone wrote this before but I feel like I've lost my innocence...like I know too much now about what can go wrong. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I'm just glad the appointment is over and that I am healthy.
Comments
I know how you feel, its hard to see other babies so soon!. I feel like my chest tightens and is going to explode. glad all went well with the doc appt. I'tll be me next week.
Thinking of you.xxx
sadas
I know how you feel about trying again. We are going to be starting next week. It's so hard now when you know about all the things that can go wrong and do. I'm trying not to worry about it. I'm glad that you're healthy and you're doing OK.
kensmom
Yeah,so all that bad stuff is there if we start trying again but I also like to think about all that anticipation and excitement and it is so worth it! I have also taken some time to think about the amazing thing that conception and life is and I have felt exceptional to have been a part of that twice...unfortunately the second time I found out how amazing and difficult the process is to happen correctly every time!
LuvUJai
It sounds like you got good news. Hopefully, taking a cycle off will give you time to prepare for trying again, both physically and mentally. And just think, the next time will probably be a breeze!
HYourk
I'm glad you're healthy and ready to move on. Maybe you should take your husband on a "sex" vacation
BUFF1
So much of what you say hits home with me, your whole experience at the doctors office was mine as well. When I think of getting pregnant again, I get very excited for the baby at the end but scared to death for the fear of unknown during pregnancy. I feel like since my 2 mc i am a different person completely, I feel like I am less optimistic and happy-go-lucky. I feel sad that I will never know how it feels to not worry during a pregnancy. Take care and my heart goes out to you, Erin
ens