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Tomorrow is the day. It's been a long time since I have wanted to do this but it's time to start again. I have my clothes and shoes ready to go, the mp3 player charged and the motivation needed to get back on track...I hope. I used to do it six days a week for almost an hour a day. It will be extremely painful at first but in time I will be back on track. Here's to a little less of me every week!
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I know I shouldn't complain about my situation. I fought to keep the girls in town and I knew the work involved in getting four kids to school...three different schools...pick them up and make sure their homework is completed. I knew that my oldest would have classes after school to help with her reading and math and I knew that I would be the one to pay for all of their school funtions, field trips and supplies. Even though I knew all of this doesn't make it any easier.
The ex was ordered to pay support since she only has them on the weekends. The amount is not the issue as small as it is...it's the fact that she has put in zero effort when it comes to the girls lives. I am still expecting her to quit her job, find another, lower paying one or move back to town. I am waiting for this because it's what she has told me she is going to do. Then again she also said I would never see a dime. I really don't care about the support since I never expected to receive it in the first place. I will just have to wait and see what happens I guess.
I have also decided to move. I have been in the cave for 20 months and it's time to leave. I moved here because it was cheap and close to schools...across the street...but it's time to move on. The new place is larger, has a huge yard, four bedrooms...one is in the finished part of the basement, 2 bathrooms...thank God...and will allow for a small dog. I wish I never mentioned that to the girls since it's all they talk about...need suggestions on what type of dog since I have a feeling Santa will be bringing one in a few months.
The biggest problem with the townhouse other than I am still renting is that it's across town. I now have to drive the older two to school rather than walking them across the street. I know it's not a major issue but with the weather changing and finding it hard enough to get my oldest up as it is the earlier wake up call will be a problem. The place has everything I want and I am willing to do the extra work so that the girls will enjoy living here. I just hope I will too.
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you said it. "the place has everything I want and I am willing to do the xtra work..."
Keep in mind, this isn't about you bro, it's about your beautiful girls, who someday when they know enough, will say "THANK YOU DAD" because of you I;
"went to college and got that great job, never let a boy walk on me, had great self esteem and kept my head trudging forward even during animosity in my life, etc. etc."
PJ, you have nothing to worry about and yes, I know we DO worry about EVERYTHING, but being a father, dad, provider, protector is the greatest gift we're given. I know you know that.
Now, the dog. Make sure it's a mixed breed to avoid tempermental issues, also, remember it should have non-shedding hair or short hair which can hide in between cleanings... other then that, good luck man..
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Why shouldn't you complain??? It's us. Complain away :)
The move sounds like a good one. I have a Boston Terrier so there is my recommendation. A little bit on the wild side but mine has never been destructive, she has the run of the house during the day and the kids LOVE her.
4 kids and one you. Not easy. It won't be like this forever.
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I'm proud of you. There is not many men out there like us. Those girls will owe there life to you. What would they do if they didn't have you. I know it can suck, but its worth every minute to have them...
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Past Entries
You go you, my amazing Southern Canadian friend! Just take it easy and then you won't mind doing it the next day! Beth
Coping
Ouch...I'm not sure if you could call it running with all the walking I did but day one is over. I just hope I will be able to get up for day two. :)
pearljamfan
A child cannot walk with out crawling same as we cannot run without walking. Baby steps is better than no steps.
middleoftheroad
I'm so proud of you for taking this first step... it's the first steps that ae often the hardest. Love you baby!
PJFsgirl