bill52962's Journal

update

Friday, July 4, 2008

This has got to be the worse 4th of July I've ever had.

So far she's making good recovery from her stroke a few days ago. She's getting some movement in her arm now, but her eyes aren't recovering quite as fast. At least that's something, hallelujah! I think she wants to be moved to some kind of recovering place where they can get her back into shape. Sure it sounds good, but meanwhile there's a shard of plaque floating around in her artery waiting to get lodged in her brain. Once it snaps off and gets lodged somewhere, it's curtains. "They" say it would be sudden and painless. Just what I need to hear. How about "IT JUST WON'T HAPPEN AT ALL"????

I just can't get over how shit comes out of the woodwork when someone important in your life is at death's door. Relatives you'd never heard hide nor hair from, tend to materialize from nowhere..... looking for some means to get money. It's sad.

I caught wind last night that my mother doesn't feel her two sisters are mentally capable of taking care of a trust fund for me, and she's very worried about giving it over to her husband knowing he and I aren't aren't exactly best mates. So there's no one else. Wait, I've got it......

How about..... I know this is a long shot, but........

How..... about.......

me?

Well, as I was saying (hehehe) I pulled that out of left field (ha ha)

My mother is the last of all I've truly ever had in my little world. When she's gone, I'm done as well. I'll have nothing. No one. No will. No shit.

No, I haven't been treated very well by family. I've never been respected. Alll this is another story maybe I'll go into later. Right now, you are my family. Sorry, but you will have to just deal with me being in your lives

hehehe

it's time for my doc appt.

GBYA

HUUGGGSSS

Hug bill5...

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Comments

i am proud to be part of your family! lets remember 1. ask 2. believe 3. receive your momma is fine! she is loved- she is a child of God~! hold on to that truth!

CindiLou
hey bill my prayers are with you! you won't be done, you have to look programs that can help you! there are programs!

lopeznewmexico
God can do anything!! I agree with CindiLou.............ask...........ask questions, talk to your mom about how you feel and please, please remember you are a child of the universe..........that universe was made by God and so were you!!! I too would have a very tough time without my hubby and parents................but you know what.............we are given what we need when we need it...........not before...........I hope and pray that you find that peace that passes all understanding...........lean not to your own understanding..............yes, we are your family here and I am honored that you have reached out..........keep reaching out..............you will be okay!!! I am praying for your mom............and for you!!!!! Hang on to the good progress on your mom's recovery.........doctors do like to paint the worst scenario...........to cover their back sides.............keep positive as much as you can.............I know it is very difficult............but just try, okay?? hugs and more hugs for you!!!!!! ..... your friend!!

BlueButterfly55
I am proud to be part of you family. I just know in my heart your Mom is going to be okay. Keep the faith. Love and Hugs to you and prayers for you Mom.

anitaama
I know exactly what your are going through right now and my heart aches for ya. Still after 2 years of loosing my Mom I am not myself but we change just like the seasons do and I know no matter what happens you'll pull through no matter what outcome seems to happen. Prayers are with ya my friend!

Monkey13
Bill, please update okay??? I am still praying for you and your mom........no I don't feel stuck with putting up with you..........i am glad I can help if only in some small way............I really feel for you!!!! Hugs!!!!!!!!!

BlueButterfly55
I promise, Bill, no one here feels 'stuck' with you! We look forward to reading your journals and sending u hugs! on my way to send a prayer your way! ;o) Much love!
Nina

BipolarBear6101220
Even if it is just to say Hi I am sure your friends here would appreciate your saying it............I know you are hurting but please, say something..............please.........I don't want you to feel you have to bear this burden alone.........you have lots of caring friends here..............okay???

BlueButterfly55