Nave’s Profile

Close Infidelity

Since my husband disclosed his affair, we have both changed so much. He is sober and has been in therapy and is changing for the better. I have had a nervous breakdown, quit my job and have become a person I do not know or like. I am trying to find me again but it is hard. I am also in therapy. We are working on the final details and adjustments needed to salvage our marriage. I am much more able to understand him and he me, but the losses are still hard to accept, sometimes

Treatments

Couples Counseling Not Working

He lied, I cried

Crying Working / Worked

I cry only occasionally now. Once every two weeks or so. I cried daily for over a year. I think crying helped a lot.

Cymbalta Working / Worked

Cymbalta helped me to cut the obsessing about (them) in half. It reduced anxiety first. then my doctor raised it and it is helping with the sadness. Grief cannot really be avoided but it is more managable

Forgiveness Working / Worked

After hundreds of hours of conversation, I am beggining to understand and accept my husband for who he is. He feels forgiven, so I guess acceptance and love are the ingredients of forgiveness.

Leave Working / Worked

I left many times for a few days at a time and once for two weeks. It helped me to calm down and think more clearly. It helped him to know what life without me would be like. He did not like being without me.

Reading Working / Worked

Helped very much. "not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass PhD "after The affair" by Janis Abrahms-Spring PhD and others.

Support Groups Working / Worked

Daily strenghth has helped more than I would have imagined. Knowing that others feel as I do has made me feel less "crazy"and that lowered my stress immediately. I also feel less lonely. Oddly, my closest friends have had affairs themselves and although they have been supportive they could not really understand. Since I lost my "best Friend", my husband, I have felt so alone. Support helps.