TIEASEJUSTINSMOM's Journal

WE MUST ALL PRAY FOR ADRIANNE SHE IS READY TO GIVE UP WE ALL KNOW THAT PAIN AND THAT WAY OF THIKING AS MUCH AS I PRAY AND GO TO THERIPY AND TRUST IN GOD THAT THOUGHT STILLS COMES TO ME .TODAY JUSTIN WAS DUE BUT I DID NOT HAVE HIM UNTILL THE 28; OF JAN I REMEBER CARRYING HIM IT SEEMED LIKE HE WOULD NEVER GET HERE BUT WHEN HE DID THE JOY I FELT WAS WONDERFUL BACK THEN I THOUGHT NOW MY LIFE IS COMPLETE TWO KIDS A HUSBAND AND THE BIG HOUSE ALONG WITH THE DOG ;BUT I HAD NO IDEA THE BOTTOM WOULD FALL OUT AND THEY BOTH WOULD BE GONE WELL THIER IS ONE THING IWANT TO DO AND THAT IS TO THANK GOD FOR THE TIME I HAD WITH EACH OF THEM ;EVEN FOR ME ITS WAS TO SHORT ;THE LOVE I HAVE FOR THEM CAN NOT EVER BE CHANGED IT IS AN EVERLASTING LOVE .THE PAIN COMES UP IN ME SO HEAVY THE XANA THE SLEEPING PILLS NOTHING WORKS I HAVE TO JUST GET UP BUT NOT GIVE UP JESUS COULD YOU TELL JUSTIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR ME AND MOMMY MISSES YOU MORE THEN EVERGOD SAID HE WOULD BRING WHOLENESS AND HEALING FORGIVE ME LORD I DONOT THINK I CAN BE HEALED FROM THIS BUT I DO BELIVE YOU ARE HOLDING ME AND GREG GUIDE OUR FOOTSTEPS TODAY YOU SAID GLADNESS FOR MORNING PEACE FOR DESPAIR BEAUTY FOR ASHES;WHOLE MY HEART AS WELL AS THOSE MOMS WHO ARE READY TO GIVE UP; WE NEED YOU KNOW RIGHT KNOW .JUSTIN MOMMY WANTS TO HOLD YOU AND NEVER LET GOI AM PUTTING ALL MY HOPE IN GOD I WAS SO MAD AT HIM WHEN YOU LEFT TO BE WITH TIEASE BUT I LET THAT GO I HAVE CRYED AND PRAYED AND PRAYED AND CRYED BUT I CAN HEAR YOU AND YOUR SISSY SAYING WE ARE HERE WITH JESUS AND WE ARE OKAY YET I STILL WANT YOU BACK HELP ME GOD THIS IS A TEST TO DEEP BOTH OF THEM HELP ME TO GET THOUGH THE NEXT SECOND AND I AM PUTTING ALL MY TRUST IN YOU THAT IS MY ONLY HOPE . I KNOW THAT NOW. HOLD MY HEART  SO THAT I DONOT GO AWAY AGAIN