stargazer673's Journal

The voices are so loud right now.  I don't know what got to them but they are really demanding I do somethings I don't want to do.  I don't know who to talk about them.  I know that all this must really be getting old...must be why no one hardly ever comments on my journal except for a few (great people!)...I am really at the end of my rope...part of me is just telling me to give in to the voices.  They are strong and must really know what they are talking about because they continue to repeat it....over and over.

The "shadow people" are getting closer and it's day time...this doesn't normally happen.  I am constantly checking behind me...I feel like I'm going insane.

I just don't know what to do.  I could call crisis but they will do their "normal" thing.  Have me come in...talk to me like I'm stupid.  In fact...the last few times that I've gone to crisis (besides for the pdoc appointment) they haven't even taken me into an office to talk with me...they take me to an empty room (which happens to have chairs...but are too small for my butt so I'm uncomfortable the whole time) or they take me to the "quiet room" which smells like it hasn't been cleaned in years.  Then they talk down to me like I'm some stupid kid who is making everything up...they have me discribe EVERYTHING...even after I've already explaned everything to them.  Or I'll get taken back to a therapist's office and she'll talk down to me like I'm a child who doesn't understand what I'm talking about...I do know what I'm talking about because it's HAPPENING TO ME!

And they charge me out the ass to see a therapist (even if we don't go into an office).  I really hate that.

Oh the shadow people are getting closer...I feel so unsafe.