Journal Entry for June 1, 2008
June 1, 2008 7:54pm
ate meat for the first time in years. felt too guilty afterwards i had to throw up some. now im jsut sitting here being miserable.
Goal Completed on May 7, 08
numbtomyself’s Profile
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About Me
I am at a point in my life where I am beginning to question everything. It seems that I don't really know who I am anymore, and it is unsettling. I have always lived, very much in the moment, which I guess is a common BP trait. My anxiety, and panic attacks only seem to complicate things. So I guess I am here looking for support. I want to be normal, and I hate swinging between two extremes. Even though I have my crazy moments, I assure you that I really am a good person. I don't bite.
Interests
helping others (but unfortunately, not myself), taking walks at midnight to clear my head, snuggling with my puppies when i'm down, listening to music loud enough to get lost in it, and lounging around in old comfy worn-in jeans.
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Recent Activity
October 6
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numbtomyself and ShanghiMama are now friends 2:07pm
October 5
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numbtomyself joined the Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety support group 8:21pm
March 16
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numbtomyself turned 29 12:00am
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Journal
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This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
wanted to say hi. How's work treating you? Hope all is well! Mary
Celebrate
What's goin' on, numbtomyself? I'm in Bipolar Disorder group as well as Alcoholism Group -- I'm celebrating 90 days without a drink today and HUGGING MY ENTIRE FRIENDS' LIST! HAVE A GOOD DAY!
Hug
Hello my name is Taino and i'm the founder of "TRUTH BE TOLD." I'm sending you an invitation to come join my group. "TRUTH BE TOLD" is the place where you will be able to discuss whatever is on your mind. So, whether you have funny jokes, good news, bad news, breaking news or whatver news, this is the place where you want to be, let it all out and let the "TRUTH BE TOLD".. And always remember that we are here to support and not here to judge or to be judged by anyone. So lets sit back, relax and have some fun. To join just go into my profile and click on "TBT"....Hope to see you there :)
Hug
hey : ) i feel just like you do. i know how hard it is. i'm sorry youre going through this. if you ever need to talk, i'm here.
Hug
Hello I just wanted to invite you to a group for single bipolars!So if this applys to you come join Single Beepers with us!http://dailystrength.org/groups/single-beepers
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
i have been dx with bp in 2001, and then again in 2006. i generally go in and out of therapy. i start when things become unbearable. i stop when they get too close. i quit meds when i think i'm cured. unfortunately cycle repeats.
Treatments
- Abilify Working / Worked
- this is the shit. my brain is coming back to life with this med. oh, how i missed thee brain.
- Ativan Working / Worked
- stops me from jumping out of my skin.
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- Pretty good, gets rid butterflies with most daily activities. Not a replacement for Ativan though.
- Depakote Too Soon to Tell
- quiets the head chatter. makes me less irritated, irrational, and impulsive.
- Lamictal Not Working
- made me dizzy and flat. made my vision blurry, bumped into things. colors became "less bright."
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- had trouble sleeping, flipped me into mania.
- Prozac Not Working
- allergic. rash, headache, joint aches, twitchy, anxious, difficulty sleeping, trouble peeing.
- Risperdal Somewhat Helpful
- helps with racing thoughts, but knocks me out.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- stopped working after a while.
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- made me paranoid.
Close Eating Disorders
my ed is taking over my life. had anorexia nervosa for 11 years, recovered for 4. now falling back into old habits.. this time restricting and purging. at the moment diagnosed with ed nos.
Treatments
- Paxil Not Working
- Prozac Not Working
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Zoloft Not Working
Open Self-Injury
self-explainatory
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- makes me feel guilty. hard to explain why i si to someone who doesnt completely understand.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- not an easy topic to discuss
- Tattoos Considering
- im broke.
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- helps get rid of some of the rage. intense reading later.
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
dont feel like getting into the details just yet. my np says i have this. my np also says that i disassociate. i'm trying to get to the bottom of this. loosing all this track of time is scary. doesnt help that i also have panic attacks.
Treatments
- Art Not Working
- used to do this alot, lately i have felt uninspired.
- Guided Imagery Not Working
- doesn't work
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- loose myself in it.
- Paxil Not Working
- made me manic
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- every other week.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- get myself lost in it.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Zoloft Not Working
- made me paranoid
- BuSpar Too Soon to Tell
Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
numbtomyself hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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