momhurts's Journal

loss

Thursday, May 1, 2008 | A Sad story

I was reflecting today on all that has been lost as a result of my daughter's rapes. Our relationship has been damaged. I feel that this bastard has stolen my daughter from me. She doesn't trust me enough to share the experience. She won't say she loves me. She won't let me touch her. She rails against parental control, really against any control. She has kept this secret and built a wall around it, separating us. This has come between us, and forever altered our relationship. I miss her. I grieve the loss of what our relationship would have been. I want what was lost between us. I realize this is a selfish perspective. In the big picture, I want her wholeness, happiness, confidence and enthusiasm for life. I think she will achieve these things, I see that she is well on her way to that. But my loss of her, that I fear may never be regained. Im so sad.

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Comments

oh i'm so sorry that this has really damaged your relationship with your daughter wished she would talk to you and not shut you out that is really hard I know I shut my mom out for the longest time and wouldnt tell anybody what had happened to me for years and just kept it to myself and that's what had me so confused until I almost comited suicide and got forced into counseling

rachelle403
Jeanie, I certainly understand your loss. I grieve with you. I am unable to offer words of condolence. I hope with all that is in me that she will begin to heal. We are all here for you. Kathy

moblueeyes
Jeanie, your daughter has a terrible scar of shame in her life. She needs acceptance until she can deal with what has happened to her, internally. She is stained, and knows it better than anyone. You can't be her counselor or therapist, but you can be the best, most supportive mom anywhere. Release yourself from the responsibility of this occurance and it's consequences. Carrying this burden is going to keep you from being what you need to be...and that's fully understanding and patient...which is what your daughter needs from you.

c140cfi
she's been scarred and yes your relationship has been damaged but not forever. rape/ sexual abuse victims (i'm one) have to make a choice that this is going to rule their life or make them better because of it. right now she's choosing to let it rule her, it's all part of the process. she'll realize she can't live like this and she'll let you in eventually, give her time. =] take care. love and hugs, meg

MEGNEEDSABABY
things might be hard for a long time...im not going to sugarcoat that...but there is always hope. for a long time i hid my rapes from my mum and dad...and it made life horrible for everyone. but then i started to come to terms with it and i found that i could open up and talk about it to the people closest to me.
if you want to talk about it from my perspective, feel free to message me anytime ok?

DeathByDegrees
xxxx

fallingstar19