kattgyrl's Journal

In 8th grade, she ran off for 33 hours with some guy who was in foster care.  She never oppologized, never thought she did anything wrong.  She continued to be disagreeable. 

January, She took forever to get to the car to go tochurch had hugh attitude.  Asked her to stay home.  My 17 year old doesn't want to live here.  She can't admit she has made mistakes an appologize, can't own them.  She has ran away, taken her 12 year old syster, cut her sister hair off and was going to die it before the police found her.  They walked 7 miles in the snow with no jackets in tennis shoes. 

Stopped doing all schoolwork, didn't care about any thing, stopped talking to anyone.  Disaccociated with friends, made shallow new friend ships.

Mothersday, She went out of the roof and refused to come in.  I went out to keep her safe and John called 911.  She kicked and screemed, tried to bite me.  I had a hold of her left arm and the back of her head with a hand full of hair.  She swore.  Linda asked Scott to come over as a witness to her crisis.

Memorial Day, ran away on Friday at 5 PM.  Told her little sister what she was doing (manipulitive) We called 911. Bobbie came home Sundy by police escort, she had been hand cuffed and escorted by the police infront of her friends. 

The hard part is that she has two younger sisters that do not deserve the reputation that Bobbie is providing.  Bobbie is living with the neighbors.  Bobbie started filling Cathy with a ton of lies until I was able to fill in the blanks.  L is hopeless and scared, E want's her out.

 I am wiped, numb, lacking energy to continue.  My husband doesn't like conflict, but has won't continue for long.  He has had to deal with daily events of calling 911, L's broken arm.  The attitutude that comes up.  All 3 girls are adopted.  E age 8 in 2000 and L (age 5) & B (age 11) in 2001.  We had a counciling appt for B last week but she didn't make it.  J and I went.  The only think the councelor could give us was to pray.  That's probably the best thing, but I need direction. 

 I feel like the walls are falling in.  I slept all day yesterday, I am ineffective at work and I am the only one that works.  J can't find a job or won't find a job.  Got his treaching degree 3 years ago and cant find a job, now he doens't even want to teach.  We are in debt.  But we have money to put up new gutters.  I'd like a pool for relaxation and excersise.

 I ask L and E to do their chores, I get attitude beyound belief.  I ask John to have them do their chores when they get home from school and to do their homework, but he's on the internet and too busy.  He doesn't do any chores except the lawn 3 times a month, paying bills twice a month, dinner about 2 to 3 times a week.

 I want out, but I am not a quitter.  I don't know what God expects of me.