ariela's Journal

Ariela, you are right to be concerned. If you have specific, documentable incidents (observed by several people who are willing to report what they saw, for example), try reporting it again. You can also try talking to their pediatrician (if they have one) for information and referral. They will be limited by HIPPA in what they can tell you about the kids, but they can take down any information you give them. The most important thing you can do is to be a loving grandma for them. It's surprising how much my siblings and I got from just seeing our one set of grandparents for a few weeks a year. We just adored them and they adored us -- and believe it or not, while we all have our difficulties from our upbringing we are all basically functional and mostly happy. You can provide a background of unconditional love for your grandkids that no one else seems to have right now, so please don't underestimate how much influence you can bring to bear for these three kids.

I agree with Cynthia that you are having much more of an impact on their lives.......I can't imagine the feelings you must have....I am so sorry and if you ever need to vent, please let me know if I can help....I will be praying for you and the children.

Contact the kids' pediatrician and give your two cents about them being able to see a psychologist. Not a psychiatrist, a therapist that deals with children. Your grandchild are at risk for emotional abuse issues. They will need support and coping skills to survive it.. My heart goes out to you..

Hang in there.. I will pray, and I am praying right this second..

Thanks for sharing...it is amazing how much when learn about it other from this game. That is great that you have been able to meet your siblings. You are lucky in some many ways!!!

Ariela, I just LOVE your name !!!!!!!!!! I have 2 grown kids and you can not solve the all Thier problems. The one thing I have learned is the more hardship the kids go through the more they learn from it. Thats not to say parents can't just jump in and help but, Its also importent for them to learn the hard way how to provide for themselves. I Know its hard on you and the kids and your son and daughter in law but we all do what we have to do to get by. i'll keep them in my thoughts and prayers and send some positive vibes your way. They will be on thier feet soon ! It just takes time !

Keep giving those grandkids all the love you can. I had similar issues with my grandson and my daughter. They were living in a very bad place (dilapitated and falling down, druggie roomies, strangers dropping by, etc) I worried a lot and always babysat anytime for as long as she wanted me to. She has since found a decent boyfriend and a nice place to live and has a wonderful daughter as well. Just keep loving them and loving them. Give them time and love.

Ariela -- thanks for asking me to be a friend. I think you are doing a wonderful thing by being there for your grandchildren. I had a "stable" home, but not a healthy one and my grandparents literally saved my life -- without them (and we only saw them twice a year, but one of those times we stayed with them for two weeks w/o our parents) I probably would have died an alcoholic or killed myself. You can do so much by just showing them that they are loved and are a priority in your life, even if your son and DIL are absorbed in their own stuff. That's one of the things I'm struggling with -- trying to get out of myself so that I can remain present for my 12 yo son and my DH. Yay for all those loving grandmas and grandpas out there

All you can do is let go and let God...pray & love them all...Things will work out---be hopeful. My children did not have the greatest situation at time (husband was drug addicted and alcholic), but i always took care of them, sheltered them and provided for them--I went from having a great job and financial independance, to state assistance due to health problems...the kids literly went from riches to rags and back to somewhere in between...I think my children learned to appreciate what we had, because it had been worse & it made us closer for it. Stay positive..it may be for the good in the end, if not you may have to intervene or help in some manner...Just always be a safe harbor...PS: thanks for your comments about my family...it meant alot.
Love,
Ann

I am so sorry you are facing this stress right now. I think we become so much wiser and competent at raising kids by the time we are grandmas and grandpas. Seems like the generation having kids right now is full of some very selfish children who've had sex that resulted in babies. Even those of us who "raised them right" are seeing some awful consequences to our grandchildren's plight due to selfishness by our children and/or their mates. I will pray for you and your grandbabies too. By the way, I am in Arizona too. I will tell you this bit of wisdome given to me by a dear friend when we first faced a dangerous situation with one of our grandchilden due to a parental screw-job.. NEVER make a judgement on them, and ALWAYS be available and convenient. We've found that not only were we able to "save" the baby, we have had a large part in helping this person who joined our family by giving birth.. to become a better person and develop some responsible behaviors and understand consequences. I will pray you will find peace too.