btrflymom's Journal

Our court date is geting closer. I cant wait. I want to get it done and over with. My ex hasnt seen the kids in almost two months and life in my house has been pretty normal. The kids are sleeping normal (other than being sick) and my Bug hasnt woken up with night terrors in a while. Sissy hasnt asked for him in a long time. She usually dont want to go with him anyway so shes happy being here without him. Bug asked if she was going to ever see him again and I told her I didnt know. She just said OK and went on her way to go play. Both girls are happy here at home with me, Chris, and Brother. Since my ex hasnt been showing up we have been able to stick to a routine and the girls are thriving. Sissy is talking more and starting to potty train. She is still having her terrible two tantrums but she is starting to town down, except for the talking back.

Now I am here waiting to hear from him. I am starting to fear he is going to show up for the first time in a long time. If he does it will only be for a few visits and the girls will be in his way again and he will disappear for a while. Then I will have to heal broken little hearts so we can move on again.  Bug is the one who takes it the hardest and I keep telling him that he cant be in their lives one month and out of it the next. I am so afraid hes doing it again. I hate seeing my kids hurt. Sissy dont seem to care if he doesnt show but Bug gets used to it and gets upset when he dont. I dont want to keep going through this with my kids. He needs to make up his mind and stick to his desision for once in his life. I hope the judge can see things the way I do. If she has kids and has ever been divorced she will.