canukmom's Journal

Okay so lots and lots of time has gone and I have not written. I have been busy and hope to get writingmore often. Please know out there that I do keep up with my readings, and am blessed and encouraged by every one of your journals. I think sometimes by avoiding to write how I feel makes like it never happened and sometimes that feels better. Weird I know. Since I have been back in Ireland the weather has been great. Nothing like at home where the average was minus 30. Early spring for me. Take care. Smiles

Well so my time at home is over and now I am back in Ireland. Traveling for two days can you make you very tired. Last night we put our son Eoghan to bed at 9 pm and he slept till 11 this morning. wow. I guess he is tired also. By tomorrow we should be back to normal. We flew from Boston this time, I guess we missed the storm. Glad because I would not want to have been grounded or anything. Anyway it was good to see John again. I was away for 5 weeks. Now to get back to routine....yah fun. I think being back makes waht happened more real beccause this where it happened. When I was home it was out of mind kinda....but right now i am doing okay.

It has been awhile since I have written anything. Being home here I have been kinda busy. Although this website is great, sometimes I don't want to log on because it reminds me about what happened. Not that I could forget, but sometimes I am scared that i will forget. I have really only talked about this with people here on the website. And honestly I have not even said outloud to anyone that I miscarried, using the word miscarried. Not that I have told anyone really. I just have not talked about it , even though so many people have asked me when we are having another one. I am not liking that people ask me that , but they don't know. I just kinda make jokes about it. Our son just turned 2 and this pregnancy we lost was perfect timing because our kids would be 2 and a half years apart and being born in July means that we would be able to come back to Canada for christmas next year. My mind goes into overdrive all the time, but I can't change what has happened. Lately I have not been up woth my bible reading or praying and I have felt really guilty about it. I am glad I feel guilty because it I did not , then my conscience would not care, but I care. Anyway off for the night.