Why I\'m Here
About 5 months ago I was with an ex-boyfriend who I had been seeing on and off for a few years, we weren't dating …
Join Now
Tomorrow will be one year from the day my wife got ready for work like usual. She did her hair, put on her make-up and then told me that she wanted a divorce.
She was 23. We'd been married four years. It was great most of the time, but not perfect. She had self-esteem and abandonment issues, was depressed, clingy, jealous and a little controlling. But I loved her madly and did everything I could to listen to her, support her and help her find happiness.
There'd been no fighting. It made no sense that the woman who loved me, was hopelessly devoted and seemed to depend on me for so much would do this. There was no warning. Only days before we were discussing future plans, an upcoming road trip, even my planned vasectomy since we'd decided against having children.
But she'd chosen to leave me. Her reasons were varied, confusing and contradictory. She said I was an incredible husband, wonderfully supportive, but I didn't "listen to her dreams." She still loved me and it wasn't personal, she just didn't want to be tied down with obligations - and, anyway, I deserved much better.
This she discussed with her 48-year-old karate instructor when they'd gone to dinner the night before, after their classes. She'd gone out with him a few times over the past couple weeks and it was beginning to make me uncomfortable. I invited myself along, but was rejected because she didn't want to be "out late."
It was midnight when I finally went to the restaurant to retrieve her. The lights were off in the building, the chairs were upside-down on the tables and my wife and her crusty old karate instructor were out in the parking lot, leaning against their vehicles with guilt written on their faces.
So I was lying on the couch the next morning when my wife told me, for the first and last time, that she was unhappy. Living with me was killing her. There would be no counseling, no trying to fix things, no further discussion, no future reconciliation, no way.
The divorce was finalized July 25, only three months after it was confirmed through gossip that she was, in fact, dating the karate instructor. One year later they're still together, making this the longest relationship he's had since he started dating 18 to 25-year-old girls in his classes.
I've been living alone for a full year. I'm 26 and moving back in with my parents this month so I can pay back the $20,000 in credit card debt I've been left with. Since my most recent girlfriend broke up with me I've lost all attraction to the opposite sex, so I no longer need the privacy for at-home dinner dates.
So how you been?
Comments
You might also like ...
I\'m baaacckkkkk! lol
Okay...general update time!!! I am backkkkkkkkkkkkk!!! lol I have been working, dating, trying new things, …
Looking Back
I am looking back on my life today. I am reflecting on my past due to reading happy4me's July 25 journal …
Wow, anniverary dates suck. And you are right you deserve much better. Sometimes girls just don't know what they want and make stupid mistakes or mess up what they have. There is no excuse for what she did. Hopefully you can do something special for yourself tomorrow, treat yourself or take it easy. Good luck, I hope your pain does not last long.
PotterGirl
Darn... what I'd give to have a guy that said this about me....'I loved her madly and did everything I could to listen to her, support her and help her find happiness.' I can't even begin to figure things out when it comes to relationships.... i guess my idea of a relationship is too farfetched for the generation I'm living in!!!
It sucks that you went thru this... but I hope that this 'laid-back...generally happy' guy who finds 'reward in the simple things and joy in simply being' only loses attraction for the opposite sex during the time it takes you to heal and realize that you can't lose a part of yourself because of a woman’s immature actions. I think it's easy to let situations such as these strip a piece of the romantic human nature we carry and causes us to give less to the next person and eventually we become one of them… the people who make stupid mistakes with the person that truly cares about us.
I’m not going to give up … not yet anyway… I’m only 26… even though I temporarily lose hope, I want to see if I can find the person who makes me happy and who I can make just as happy….for all the simple things in life…
EngediV
This is a very sad story. You seem like a nice guy. You are very young. You will find the right girl someday and you will thank God for her!
I read in your profile that you are close to her family members and you feel that they are on your side. I kinda felt that way too with my mother in law. When she found out who the woman was that her son chose over me, she said to me "Stacey she's got nothing on you!". I will always find comfort in that.
DwigtS
Damn - people can really suck -huh?
SandySan
I just read this and I have to say I'm so sorry for what you went through. I havent been on this site long but from reading your posts you seem to have a great sense of humor. It sounds like you were a wonderful husband to her. Someone like you is bound for bigger and better things. I'm glad you have the support of her family. You also write really well.
nikki32
Tht suxs, i cant believe tht ur marriage ended like tht. & with a 48 yr old guy? ewww u do deserve better, must hav felt like u were in the twlight zone no? Well she might be happy now, but im sure shes misses u very much. & moving bk in with ur parents sudnt bring u dwn, things happen 4 a reason, im sure ull met mrs.right soon.
xxForgetRegretsxx
A similar situation happened to me. He told me I was perfect in every way. I deserved much better. The usual bull shit. Being the naive girl that I am, I totally believed him. I later find out that he was seeing his ex the whole time. sucks. i know. time heals all wounds. you seem like a really cool person. i'm sure she will regret the decision she made once his wrinkley dick falls off. that jerk.
bebegirljen
nasty old pervs. god they disgust me. what makes them think they could possibly have a meaningful relationship with a girl that could be their daughter. argh! makes me so mad! (excuse my ranting haha)
bebegirljen
all i can say is that i feel your pain...
ZXJ
My ex left me on April 10th of this year why that date I wonder. I am sorry that happened to you.
brokenhearted4