ahen3's Journal

Acceptance

Acceptance is one of those things that as humans we crave and search for. We want to be accepted by our parents and families. Accepted by teachers and classmates and fellow coworkers once you start working. We want to be accepted by the opposite sex and as we get older we want companionship and love. In the quest for acceptance we can make rash decisions, not think things through. For some it may make us more afraid to take chances, to stray to far from the sidewalk, always playing it on the safe side. No matter how different one person may be from the next, the desire for acceptance is the same.

Growing up with Moebius, it made me different. I looked differently from my classmates and people tended to look down on me for that. A judgement at first glance meant I had a fight ahead of me. I look back at my days in school and the biggest thing I remember are the battles I fought on a daily basis. I fought to prove to my teachers that I could keep up in class and that I actually could excel in certain subjects. By the time I was in high school, the battles were normal for me. I wasn't challenged anymore. Then I started acting. My speech was my biggest road block. Making sure I was understood. I'd get frustrated, but I kept at it. I loved acting and I was actually pretty good at it! When I went to competition I was terrified, but it was a rush. I had a challenge. Moebius has made me a fighter.

Throughout my life I looked for acceptance. I wanted to be accepted as a "normal" high school student as a "normal" woman. I've come to the realization that I'll never be "normal". I am who I am and we have to love ourselves. I love the good about me, I love the bad about me. I am forging a path for myself in this world. When life throws me a curve, I just duck and come up swinging. After all, isn't that what life is about? It's never about how many home runs you hit, or even how many times you connect, it's all about your ability to take whatever life throws at you and to just keep on moving forward.

When I got married, I was young. I thought I knew it all and I just knew my marriage was going to last forever. After all I had gone through, I had finally met the right man. The one who accepted me for me. I was elated! I couldn't wait to start my life with him and I couldn't wait to leave the world behind of constantly having to prove myself and explain myself over and over. We were married in October of 2003. In January of 2007, he decided he'd had enough and left. There I sat, 23 years old and my marriage was over. I was lost and scared. I had to go back to work and then there was the even scarier thing called dating. Looking for a job was a job itself. Rejection after rejection, I didn't think I could take it anymore. I just kept moving forward. No matter how down I got, I had to find that job. I knew that someone out there would see past the Moebius. Walgreen's was my stepping stone back into the world. In more ways than one that job has helped me move past my marriage and become more of my own person. All because one man accepted me for me. From there I started taking more chances, started speaking out more and voicing my opinions and ideas. Acceptance was all it took.

25 years of having Moebius, 25 years of fighting for acceptance. I continue to do so in my everyday life. People still are not always accepting of me and assume I'm a certain way because of my Moebius, because of how I look. Over the years I've talk to many people who have the same thing as me and are very successful. I always tell myself that with a little acceptance, the sky is the limit.