amberslucky11's Journal

Well today is my due date and still no baby =(

I go back to my doctor's office on Monday and he says he will induce me on Tuesday. I've been hearing that he was going to induce me since 36 weeks though, so I don't know if I believe him or not. I hope it's true!!!

I'm so scared though. I'm scared of labor and of being a mom. I just want to hurry up and deliver because I know that then I will feel better. I'm somebody who has very high anxiety before big events but as soon as it's over I can take a deep breath and laugh at myself.

We talked to MIL and told her that I would rather her come and stay with us the weekend after Abram is born. That way I will be able to hang out with her too, my mom will be back at work, and she will probably only stay a day or two. I feel much better about that situation.

The only thing is as soon as we got that settled more drama just had to occur. Richard's aunt called us today and said "Why doesn't Amber ever call me??? She doesn't do sh*t like work or go to school. She needs to get off of her f*cking ass and call me." I don't know where she gets off talking about me like that but she made a HUGE mistake in doing so. At this point, I don't want her to come to the hospital when I have Abram. I don't care for her as it is because she is an alcoholic and smokes marijuana on a daily basis. I had to stop going to her house because she would always smoke cigarettes and marijuana around me. She even told me it was okay to smoke marijuana while pregnant because she did and all three of her kids turned out fine. But in reality they didn't. Not only that she doesn't take into account what I may being going through. I have been so busy preparing for this little guys arrival -- cleaning, doing laundry, going to doctor appointments 2x a week, and the rest of my free time I sleep.

I really don't know what to think anymore. Richard's family is really getting to me and I don't know how to deal with it. If HE doesn't call them they all say it's because of me. If HE doesn't want to spend time with them it's because of me. What they don't realize is the only reason he talks to them at all is because I make him. Ughhhhh. Whatever.

Thanks for letting me vent.