amberslucky11's Journal

So I have a problem....I'm addicted to my doppler. I have used it every single day since the day I got it. Sometimes twice and once three times in one day.... Today is the first day I haven't used it and I want to sooooooo bad. I just keep telling myself all of the reasons to do it but at the same time all these reasons not to. Richard is starting to get mad at me because I want to use it so much. I'm going to try and not use it until Monday.

I just get so scared that if I miss a day, that will be the day that the heart stops beating. The last time I was pregnant I just assumed everything was okay and when I went into the doctor's office and found out there was no heartbeat... I had never been so shocked & traumatized in my life. So this time it seems like I just always assume the worst.

I've been thinking about Mia a lot lately and I'm sure that it hasn't been helping this situation. I miss her.

I think I might have felt my baby kicking me last night but I'm just not sure. I hope that I can feel it again tonight. I'm also starting to get that line that goes from your pelvis to your belly button. It is still really really light but it is definitely there. It's nice to have some physical evidence that I am actually pregnant. Most of the time I don't feel pregnant at all. The only tangible signs that I have are that I pee a lot and some cramping which quite frankly is scary! I'm kind of showing but I am overweight so I don't get to see the real baby bump that I am getting. I have had two people tell me that I am showing but then again it was my mom and Richard so of course it isn't the same as if a stranger said something. My mom said the other day that I was going to be a good mom and it made me feel so good. It isn't like her to say things like that because we are not very close at all.