Bad day
Where to start. Today, April 24th, 2008 was supposed to be the day that I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for …
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"It was God's will."
It's God's will to give me a baby & then take it back?
"Now you have an angel looking after you."
I don't want an angel, I want my baby back.
"It was meant to be or it was for the best."
Best for whom? I'm not somebody who would get an abortion if there was something wrong with my baby.
"You can always have another."
I don't want another baby, I want this baby.
"At least you didn't know your baby."
Really? Because from the second I found out I had a million hopes, dreams, and expectations.
"It could have been worse..."
How do you know? Were you in the ER with my all those nights? How was the surgery on your body??? How's that depression treating you?
"I understand how you feel."
No you don't. Even if you think you do, you don't.
"It's been ___amount of time and aren't you over it yet?
I will never be "over it" even after I have kids I will not be "over it".
"There must have been something wrong..."
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
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People have actually said this shit to you? That's not going to help you feel better at all! The only thing I ever wanted to try to help you through is that feeling of guilt. Like it was your fault. I went through that, too. (still am!) What we've been through is the shittiest thing a woman can ever go through, and you can spend an eternity punishing yourself for what happened. But, is that going to change anything? You are entitled to feel the way you feel. No one can know what you're going through, even those of us who have had similar circumstances, because we're all different and we all feel things and handle things differently. But to carry all the burden and guilt on your shoulders is going to break you. And you'll end up being a shell of the person you once were. And on that, I'm speaking from experience.
vanity1