Did I Fall in???? SORT OF
April 28, 2008 8:47pm
Hi everyone.
Sorry I've been gone! My computer died about 6 months ago and I'm still trying to get a new one set up. …
mamarou’s Profile
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mamarou
is feeling Bad
About Me
I am to old, to tired and to sick of living. I am to frustrated, to overloaded and too sick of being stuck. I am to angry to hopeless, and to depressed to know what steps to take first. Or how to even move forward any more. Im tired of trying, and tired of trying and tired of being tired.
Interests
Getting out of pain.
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Recent Activity
November 7
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mamarou joined the Multiple Personalities support group 9:45pm
Well, once being diagnoses with mpd/did, my life has never been the same,. Although, I'm not sure the…
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mamarou wrote a discussion post in the Depression support group: Depressed. 9:42pm
It seems right now that I'm fighting it more than I should be this day. I find my mind lies to me so…
October 15
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Journal
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Journal Entry for November 8, 2007
November 8, 2007 11:48am
Hello Friends,
I'm sorry I haven't been on in awhile. I've pulled my back out and been on bed rest. Hopefully, I will …
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for October 6, 2007
October 6, 2007 8:37pm
I am sad today. A dear friend was sentanced falsely to two consequtive life sentances without parole. My heart breaks for her. I …
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Journal Entry for September 11, 2007
September 11, 2007 7:16pm
I hear person after person, show after show talking about 9-11. My dad died 5 days before september 11. In prison, where he …
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Hugbook
Hug
thank you for the hug. it's amazing how a hug...from a total stranger...possibly hundreds of miles away...can make a person feel better. :) i really appreciate your kind words.
Hug
Mega Hugz for the day!
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Cheers
May you be blessed with a wonderful New Year, may things smooth out, may the depression demons subside, may you be pain free, may you be eternally blessed and loved. Mega New Year Hugz my friend. With much love and friendship, Wyatt
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Present
My Gift to you....prayers for Good Will, Joy & Love this Christmas and the New Year to come. May your life be blessed! With Love, Michelle
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Present
Mega Hugz, Happy Holidays and a gift of love!
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Photos
mamarou hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ChildIm not even sure where to go on this. I lost my two children 15 years ago to my ex, who was abusive towards them, which the courts refused to acknowledge. I was told that if I didn't kill the child i was carrying (also known as abortion) that I would for sure lose my children to this man. To make a long store short, I lost all three. I have been permanently damage, and I don't know how to go on or move forward. We have remarried and have a 2&5 yr old together and I cannot get close to them
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I've cried more tears than niagra falls has water, and it makes no difference.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- The couselors I was seeing at the time were more concerned with what they were going to do with their jobs since they were the ones that discovered the abuse, than me
- Prayer Not Working
- I have prayed until I have nothing left to pray. And they are still with him.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I've written until I am blue in the face and Im still in pain
- Talking Working / Worked
- I have talked to anyone that will give me 2 seconds, and most dont care, and it still doesnt help
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressionokay so, they have given me the ptsd, anxiety and clienical depression lables. but the bottom line is how do you get out of the pain of lossing 3 children 1 to death and 2 to a pedaphile
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- talked, which does no good. Inner healing which has done the most, but these areas were never addressed (the children)
Open Obesity
Well, I went through some pretty ugly things. Consequently I gained almost 100 lbs. I'm now trying to get it off but am in my mid-40's. I never realized how hard it could or would be. Im still fighting to get over the events that caused the weight gain. So, Im not sure if the lost will be futile and gain it back.
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- When I walk, even once a day for an hour (the pace doesnt matter), I lose around a pound. This is good, I think!
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- The challege is fulling getting the understanding that I do not have to fill full, to have enough nutrition in my body. They are not the same thing.
Open Menopause
45 in couple months and already missing cycles. I really hate this. I have no desire to either stop having periods or (and more importantly) stop having children yet. What to do???
Open Adoption
Looking at adopting children. There is much to be considered along the way. Im finding answers out on this side first.
Open Migraine Headaches
Well, in the world of Migraines, I will get them to the point that I cannot see. I literally go blind. However, Unlike many, I don't have them frequently and when I do get them, I don't become physically ill (thank God, that would be the worst). I can tell when the are comming. I don't know about others, but I get a calidascope effect. And then the pain comes, with sensitivity to light and my head hurts so back I would like to cut it off just to stop the pain.
Open Fitness Goals
Type: Compete in a raceWell, I have had challenges in my wait in the last 14 years. I want to get back to where I was physically. And, over come the demons of the past.
Treatments
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
Well about 14 years ago, I lost 3 children 2 to an abusive ex and 1 to murder (abortion). I subsequently gained 100 lbs. Not good on a small frame 5food 1 3/4 inches. So now I'm losing weight. And getting my life back!
Treatments
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- Well, I combined this with counting points. I used to be on weight watchers and couldn't afford it. So, Its working.
- Weight Watchers Working / Worked
- This worked for awhile, but was way to expensive for my budget. So, I'm doing it on my own along with eating less, and better.
Open Alzheimer's Disease
Stage: AdvancedMy father in law has alzheimers. and is at the end. I'm looking for support in how to help "my" family through this time
Open Multiple Personalities
Well, once being diagnoses with mpd/did, my life has never been the same,. Although, I'm not sure the same was good to being with. I was once that to be "healed" or if you'd prefer integrated, but have since shatter again. We are drained and tired and the littles would just like to go home.
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Snapshot
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