HeatherL69's Journal

OK - I am in a much better place and it has come from a great conversation with the most unlikely person in my life.  His youngest brother and wife live in the same city and it is an interesting story in itself... but long short - not many in the family , myself included at times, has treated her with much  more than mere acceptance. 

This evening he made plans to pick kids up for dinner about 5pm, and after interaction this morning i chose to leave the house before he arrived.  I just dropped by the inlaws house for a short visit w/ brother/sister before they flew out for home tonite, and ended up staying for dinner.  As stated yesterday - it is very strange to spend so much time with his family and him not be around.... 

I love them all dearly, but i am feeling a little betrayed by them at the moment...  I KNOW - I KNOW... they are HIS blood not mine so i should not expect more - but i did hope for a LITTLE show of loyalty... dad told me right before sitting down to eat that last nite both of his brothers & 1 sister-n-law visited w/ him & ho at their new house....  I just wanted one of them to say - "i want to see you but i choose not to spend the time with her too" but NO NO NO - they all feel that in order to see him they MUST include her just because they are fucking living together.  Anyway - then dad went on to tell me that he told him out right that he did not want to or plan on visiting his house -and i just had to hug him for that!  So i know - my reaction was very childish - but it is what it is - and it hurt!

After leaving his parents house i still didn't feel like going home so i headed over to visit w/ the sister-in-law that lives here.  I have always tried to make her feel more comfortable in the family but b/c she has talked crap about me for no reason in arguements with her husband (my hubby's brother) it has been difficult at times.  I do, however, love to go visit with my nephews and going to them is the only way to see them.... 

SO - since she has found out that we are not the "perfect couple" that everyone thought, she has become more open & friendly to me and i have gladly accepted the extra support.  I know that she will not sugar coat the truth or be offended if i spout out a little venom towards him or his family.... and it is so damn nice to have an "insider" that is not connected by blood and who will voice the truth about this entire situation and not tow the family line about having no control over the choices they make in this situation.  And that is exactly what she did - she told me that she refused to go anywhere that ho is... that she did not have to accept her just to keep peace... that she found it to be totally disrespectful and that she wants nothing to do w/ him right now either b/c of the way he is treating me.  It just felt sooooo good to have someone else in the immediate family support ME - and the fact that she has not always liked me made the moment even sweeter.

We just had a good talk about everything from my marital state, to her boys, to the state of her marriage, to what irks us most about the family of 5 that we married into and for the first time i felt like we were sisters.  Talking with her has given me the strength to move towards acceptance of what i can not change with a little more peace than i started with on this day.