virgo090990's Journal

Ok well, i havent been on here in awhile so ill just give you an update: From reading my last entries i talk about my ex, and after that we had gotten back together but broke up finally for good, about a year ago. It has turned out to be the best thing either of us could have done for ourselves and for the other. We were just on two different levels, and our personalities clashed almost every minute of everyday. I have talked to her a few times over the past year, but she has since then dropped out of school, doesnt have a job, and is doing more drugs than she ever did before. I just dont want to be a part of that. So i have been single, learning all the lessens that God wanted me to learn with that relationship. And i feel as though ive had a self awakening. Im at the point in my life where i know who i am, what i want, what im capable of, and what i need. Now i can go after the things i want. I havent been looking for love, because i know you have to let love find you. And im not saying what im about to tell you is LOVE but im thinking maybe it could be one day... So about a month ago i was talking to my mom (who is my best friend in the whole world) and i was telling her how i would really like to experience an older women (and not just sexually but in a relationship as well) because i am so mature for my age, and everyone ive been with is no where close to being on the same page as me. Everyone my age is sneaking out, and partying like crazy and honestly, i did all that at 12-13. Then i was over it. and i havent behaved that way since then. I like being with one person, im into the LTR thing. Nobody my age seems to be, and even if thats what they do want, they are not mature enough to handle everything that goes along with it. So here i am telling my mom all this. Shes so cool and she understands because she did the same thing at my age. So only a few days later, i meet this women (we will call her B.) and she just took my breath away! (i know thats kinda cheesy but its so true) And i felt like we had something there, especially after our encounters after that. When i saw her, i didnt know her age, she asked me mine and i told her 17. (ill be 18 in less than 2 months) but i turns out she is late 30s-early 40s. I wont be exact. We have been dating since then however, (nothing sexual at all til im legal!!) and its been amazing! We have an amazing connection, and although there is a big age difference, she is so young at heart and looks so young (i thought she was 27 and im extremely good with age!) and im so mature, it doesnt seem to be a problem. and im very happy with her but we are just taking it one day at a time and we'll see what happens.  but if you have any opinions or comments on the topic of age differences id love to hear it!

ok so heres what new with me, i just transfered to a new school and im a junior this year. so far its ok, im getting used to it. ive made some new friends and my classes are good, but i still really miss my old school and all my friends. and the most important person in my life is back at my old school. Unfortunatly we broke up on our 1 in a half yr anniversary. Im very sad about it but i know i need to change myself and that will change everything. for awhile now ive been nothing but bitchy and mean when i should be loving and caring. so i need to change my attitude big time. and she has some mental stuff she needs to work out too. we decided we need to make ourselves happy and then we can be happy together. which is great advice for anyone having relationship problems. so other than that life has been pretty boring.