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  From Mobley July 26, 2007

  Hi AJ, You just crack me up!! I'm not good at handling the sight of blood either, imagine that, and I work at a Hospital!! I'm just glad I am no longer at the Emergency Room end of the Hospital. Brandon is doing well though! Hope your day is going well, mine is!! LOL, Kathy

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  From chimmer July 20, 2007

  Work smork you need a break...Sit down,put your feet up,have an ice tea & listen to Barry

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  From Mobley July 17, 2007

  Hi AJ, Thanks for the advice!! LOL, Kathy

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  From chimmer July 15, 2007

  Hello! I sure hope Dr Wally didn`t write any of these!Doctor Bloopers! *** Actual "bloopers" Doctor's have written on patient charts. *** 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. 7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8. The patient refused an autopsy. 9. The patient has no past history of suicides. 10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. 11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up. 14. She is numb from her toes down. 15. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 16. The skin was moist and dry. 17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. 18. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 19. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. 20. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy. 22. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. 23. Skin: Somewhat pale but present. 24. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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  From chimmer July 14, 2007

  Hello!! I hope you are having a spectacular Saturday!! The Facts of Life: THE FACTS OF LIFE The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Dave's Law: You can't fall off the floor. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch. He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Have a cup of coffee, it's already been 'saucered and blowed. She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm. It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs. My cow died last night so I don't need your bull. Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. He's as country as cornflakes. This is gooder'n grits. Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor. If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought goes away. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

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