Sakura's Journal

Well tomorrow the detective currently working my case is going to talk to my psychologist. I'm kind of nervous and kind of scared. Because its my word against his, and he's denying anything happened, I feel like there's a lot resting on this. It seems to me that my therapist has to vouch not only for my reliability/sanity but also about what kind of family this really is. I mean, I know it's a big deal that I'm being taken seriously and that the police are really investigating it (at least it feels like it is to me). I don't even know what outcome I want. If I want this to go to trail or not, if I want him to get convicted or not. I'm glad it's not up to me. I know what he did was wrong, and in my head I know it's not my fault. But, well, he's my dad. Why does everything have to be so complicated and screwed up? Part of me absolutely wants him to get arrested and this to go to trial and him to get convicted. The down side of that? Well, there's two. One is my whole family will hate me. They're already mad that I'm making these "wild accusations" and claim I'm delusional and shit. But the other one is that I'm going to college in a few weeks. As in 2 1/2. And it'd be nice to have this done with before I get my chance at a fresh start. God, everything just fucking sucks.