Sakura's Journal

I was kind of harsh to an old friend today. We started out dating, that was.... five years ago? We dated for a while then I broke up with her (then a him) but remained friends. Sort of. It took us a while to get to being friends again. The thing is that when she doesn't have a more current crush, she reverts back to me. She gets quickly and obsessively attatched to girls, jumps around, always gets hurt because her social skills aren't very good, so she gets hurt and comes back to me. While she has a crush, she gushes about them to me. Of course, if I dare say anything about my gf (i've had a few since we've been friends), she always hates on my gf. Then, later, she claims she never stopped thinking of me all the time, I'm the most important person to her and always have been, etc. The other day we had a bit of a fight because well, it started because she asked me to promise her something she did not ever do for me. I confronted her and she made excuses and didn't take responsibility. Which is kind of typical of her. Today I finally told her that she never says I"m the most important person to her when she's crushing on someone else. Long story short, she asked me why I don't want to be her girl-friend. I told her she wasn't going to like what I had to say, but she insisted on hearing it. So I told her the truth. That there are things about her that I have no problem with as friends, but don't want in a girl-friend. She has almost no social skills, she gets really obsessive about her "special-intrest" girl, she doesn't understand addiction or trauma, especially sexual trauma. She often lacks tact, which I don't mind in terms of myself, but with people like that i prefer to only be one-on-one with them. Maybe sometime in the distant future, we could be together, but not now. If she changes, maybe I change, fine. But I'm not going to ask her to change. Then she started asking why I wouldn't ask her to change. I don't ask people to change. They are the way they are and if they change for themselves, that's great. But changing to make someone like you? That's just... wrong. She kept insisting she wants to change for me which would make her happy so she's changing for herself.... I finally said I had to go to bed (which was a lie) and hung up. I was really, really honest with her because, well, she asked me to. I wonder, was I too mean?