Hey Y'all
July 5, 2008 2:24pm
I'm hanging out with my grandparents in peaceful Vermont. My eyes are finally starting to get better. I'm not perfect- seeing live fireworks …
Sakura’s Profile
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Sakura
is feeling OK
Staying with my grandparents in peaceful VT. Vision is getting worse again.
About Me
I am a student. One day I hope to be a published writer. I have many manuscripts, poems, short stories, journals, notes, and essays. I am lesbian. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up, and I don't know what I want to do after I graduate high school. I constantly listen to music and I hate to eat.
Interests
My Current Outlook on Life: There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who put others first and those who put themselves first. Being in one catagory or the other doesn't make you a good person or a bad person. There's ups and downs to both. And most person learn to do both. But everyone naturally puts themselves either first or last. And for those of us who put others first are doomed to get hurt again and again.
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Recent Activity
Yesterday
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Sakura updated their status 10:16pm
Staying with my grandparents in peaceful VT. Vision is getting worse again.…
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Sakura changed their mood to OK 10:14pm
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Sakura wrote a discussion post in the Rape support group: Showering (Is it weird?) 10:13pm
Ok, so I was reading all the responses to the "False Rape" thread and it seemed to me people…
Monday
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Sakura replied to coliedoll’s discussion post False Rape in the Rape support group 12:51am
I was raped for something like 6 years- the same person did it over and over again. But I was too young…
Saturday
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Sakura wrote a journal entry updating their Stay Clean goal 2:24pm
I'm hanging out with my grandparents in peaceful Vermont. My eyes are finally starting to get better.…
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Sakura updated their status 2:21pm
Staying with my grandparents in peaceful VT. Vision is finally starting to...…
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Sakura changed their mood to Good 2:21pm
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Sakura changed their mood to OK 2:18pm
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Sakura gave directorsdaughtr a Hug 2:17pm
Hey, Just wanted to say sorry for taking soooooooo long to get back to you. I've been having major trouble…
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Sakura and directorsdaughtr are now friends 2:15pm
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Journal
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Legally Blind
June 22, 2008 12:25am
Sorry I haven't been updating. I'm currently legally blind. People say it will go away, but since no one knows what brought it on, I …
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A Random Note
June 5, 2008 2:15am
Since I got bras that fit my back hasn't been hurting. Did I mention that? Yeah, turns out my bra was two sizes too small. Some how 'the …
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for June 2, 2008
June 2, 2008 2:29pm
She has passed on to a place where we cannot follow
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Gay & Lesbian Teens
I am 17 years old, and I am lesbian. I have always known I was some how differant from the other kids. For years I tried to convince myself I was attracted to boys as well as girls because that how I was "supposed" to be. I've been out for about a year now (parents included).
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I adore my therapist (he's gay). It's taken a couple of tries to find the right therapist, but now i actually look forward to our sessions each week.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- I attend a support group for LGBTQQ teens. It's a wonderful place to vent and listen and get advice. We meet once a week. It's been something of a life saver.
Close Bereavement - Teens
I've lost family. And non-family. The toll is large. Including my cousin who took her own life last summer.
Treatments
- Ativan Somewhat Helpful
- Ativan is an anti-anxiety medication that helps quell the physical manifestations of anxiety i developed after my cousin's death.
Open Sexual Abuse
I was four. He was in his 20's, maybe 30's. It's been years, but my body still remembers every touch. Then there was my dad. Among other things he raped me.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I finally found a good therapist. I actually look forward to our sessions.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I come from a seemingly normal family. But truthfully it's rather.... dysfunctional.
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- I'm a writer. I writer almost obsesively. Besides, the paper always listens. The pen never calls me a liar.
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have PTSD because of sexual abuse when I was a small child.
Treatments
Open Depression
I've been dealing with depression since... well I don't even remember how long. The first time I was suicidal I was in seventh grade. A baby really. If I knew then what I know now... Somethings change and somethings don't.
Treatments
- Effexor Too Soon to Tell
- Geodon Not Working
- Prozac Not Working
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- It had a bad reaction with something or another and actually ended up with me in the psych ward of the local hospital.
Open Rape
My father used to rape me. For six years he did this to me. But no one in my family believes me. They believe him when he says he didn't do it.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
Open Family Issues
My parents are abusive to me and not my "perfect" brother.
Treatments
- Family Therapy Not Working
Open Lesbian Relationship Challenges
I'm lesbian. Had a few girl-friends. None of them were very healthy relationships.
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
family.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaI'm finally ready to admit it- I have problems with food. I'm not hard core under weight or anything. But I have my issues. I tend towards anorexia. I gained weight because of one of my meds. It freaked me out. I've sort of come to accept it. But if I go up by even a pound I freak out. I'm obsessive about what I put in my mouth: it must be healthy, it can't more then x number of calories, etc. I have a problem.
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)I'm not a classic case, but I've been afraid of abandonment since I was two.
Open Bipolar Disorder
i suffer more from the depression then the manic but i do get manic. however i don't think the manic is being treated. no one's willing to call it BP. especially after my cousin (who was BP) killed herself a year ago last summer.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- Didn't help
- Ativan Working / Worked
- works for stopping the shaking i get when my anxiety is particularly high
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Not Working
- I hated it. it made my PTSD worse.
- Geodon Not Working
- Found a differant anti-psychotic that works better
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- I love my support group. it's not focused on BP, but it's nice have other kids to talk to
- Lithium Not Working
- tried it, found something better. made me gain weight.
- Risperdal Not Working
- tried it. don't remember why i got taken off it.
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- it seems to be working, but i have gained 30lbs since starting on it.
- Topamax Working / Worked
- I think it's working. It's supposed to counter act the weight gain that comes with the Seroquel.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- tried, but was hospitalized three days later and this drug was blamed and it wasn't till months later we realized it had nothing to do with the Wellbutrin.
- Writing Working / Worked
- very helpful
Open Self-Injury
i was 14 months clean until the begining of this January. I... backslide. So, here I am. Giving it another go after three weeks off the wagon. Here's to another 14 months.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Talking Working / Worked
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
I think i have a problem...
