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freeflowpoet’s Profile

  • Image of freeflowpoet

    About Me

    I'm here to gain knowledge of my disorders, to learn as much as I can to gain even better control over my emotions/feelings and 're'actions! To meet like minded souls who want nothing more than a better quality and some peace in their lives and relationships. I'm here to learn about our fears, ups and downs and reinforce my own progress and hopefully yours as well on a shared journey of healing and recovery. Freeflowpoet

    Interests

    Travelling and writing freeflow poetry. A selection of my poems can be viewed at www.myspace.com/freeflowpoet

  • Recent Activity

    Monday

    • Journal

      • Things playing on my mind

        Mood November 15, 2008 12:05pm

        Well i've said goodbye to my step dad, his service was on friday - I cried during the showing of photos of him growing up and of him with his …

      • handling things part 2

        Mood November 14, 2008 6:23am

        So my step dads' service was today, it was a nice service as far as those things go - he was a popular guy well loved and it showed by the …

      • Handling things

        Mood November 13, 2008 2:21pm

        Just a brief update:

        Since my step dad passed away I've not really grieved, I mean I've only cried like once for a few minutes and that was …

      • Grieving

        Mood November 7, 2008 2:48pm

        8/11/2008 Just recieved news my 'step dad' (friend who I grew up with) passed away this morning from blood poisioning/complications of …

      • Loyalties and honor, fuck truth and justice...

        Mood November 5, 2008 1:09pm

        Unless it's criminal justice - street creed, then it just goes back to loyalties and honor!

        All I want is some justice, someone to pay (to be …

      Read Journal

    • Hugbook

      Give freeflowpoet a hug

      • Hug

        From Rabbit11 Monday

        I'm glad your back! Of course I will be your friend! :) Talk to you soon dear! *hugs*

      • Flower

        From dame Monday

        hey glad ur back and chat soon :)

      • Hug

        From dolphin67 Monday

        yes of course i wanna be friends

      • Hug

        From Rain2325 Sunday

        Welcome back! I've been overseas as well, but I've been back for a couple months now.

      • Hug

        From Vanity Sunday

        can I change the title now that it is posted?

      Read Hugbook

    • Photos

    • Goals

      gain better control

      Progress

      70 %

      progress (%)
      70

    • Support Groups

      • Close Personality Disorders
        Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

        I've been dianogised BPD - I just want to have more control over my emotions/feelings/actions, instead of them having control over me.

        Treatments

        Solian Working / Worked
        Side effects are much less but some still remain, but it seems to be working. Feel lousy if I miss a dose - i think that means it is working!
        Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
        Been very helpful in changing scripts/behaviours, it's an on going process to work at - but I like it
        Paxil Working / Worked
        Usually on 20mg, up to 60mgs when my borderline syptoms are high, Other times I can function on no medication for my BPD.
        Self-help Working / Worked
        I'm using a workbook called "the angry heart" - it's good but I'd only recommend it if you have a professional therapist, You need to be ready to face your issues
        Zyprexa Not Working
        Agrrr to many side effects - made me feel stiff,sore,dizzy,l/headed etc...back to being a lab rat!
        Cymbalta Working / Worked
        Makes me feel normal - no acting out, no white noise or noise in my head, just peace

      • Close Epilepsy & Seizures

        I had my first Grand mal seizure at around 18yrs old, I suffered a tonic clonic seizure the other day after 91/2 years fit free... I'm back on dilantin 100mg twice a day

        Treatments

        Dilantin Too Soon to Tell
        didn't work in the past but they are re trying it for this last seizure I've just had
        Klonopin Working / Worked
        The only medication that has kept me seizure free for many years
        Lamictal Not Working
        didn't stop fitting at all
        Tegretol Not Working
        same as Lamictal and I have also been on Eplium but it just made me physically sick as well as doing nothing to stop seizures

      • Open Panic Attacks

        I have generalized panic disorder, I'm not on medication as such for this but that's because I'm also on aropax for BPD symtoms and rivitrol for epilespy - so If i can't talk myself down from a panic attack/anxiety attack I'm meant to use the rivitrol but I'm stubborn and don't like relying on medication to much, I only take it for anxiety when I'm sliding down walls and crying/hyperventalating etc.

        Treatments

        Effexor Not Working
        To sensitive to side effects
        Klonopin Working / Worked
        I take it for the real bad panic attacks when all else fails!
        Paxil Somewhat Helpful
        This is more for my BPD and I'm sensitive to side effects of this - but not as much as other meds...it speeds me up which is not good for anxiety :(
        Psychotherapy Working / Worked
        The best of all my treatments for my anxiety/panic - I have found CBT and breathing exercises very useful and enpowering :)

      • Open Sexual Abuse

        I've suffered chronic sexual abuse,assualts,attempted rapes,rapes,attempted gang rape and gang rape from the age of 7 to early 20s and another sexual assualt about a year and a 1/2 ago.

        Treatments

        Abuse Counseling Working / Worked
        I've made heaps of progress, it's been ongoing and something I keep working on as I continue to heal and grow.

      • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

        I've been dianogised with PTSD after experiencing chronic sexual abuse, assualts, rapes/attempted rapes, gang and attempted gang rape as well as childhood neglect - in general a rough start to life

        Treatments

        Art Working / Worked
        I've written freeflow poetry ever since I could hold a pen-it was my voiceless expression when I couldn't talk
        Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
        I've come a long way in healing, become heaps aware of myself and behaviours
        Paxil Working / Worked
        I respond well with it especially when used with counselling/therapy
        Rape Counseling Working / Worked
        Worked and working - it's something as I grow I'll keep working on issues that stem from my experiences

      • Open Rape

        I've had chronic abusive history, from around age 7 to 19 or so and then 27. I still get emotional when I see the word rape...it makes me want to cry and sick, even though I've done so much healing, I'm still carrying scars within.

        Treatments

        Rape Counseling Working / Worked
        It's been a journey, I'm a survivor and no one can take that away.
        Talking Working / Worked
        Still get emotional when I see the word rape, it was hard to join this community, sometimes you just want to move on but I'm who I am because I'm a fighter, talking helps

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