bluepegleg's Journal

Hi...I am new to this site and am very happy to find a place to enter my thoughts without worrying about what others think of me.  I have lived my life so far very guarded and always wondering if others can see my crooked back and what they think of me.  My biggest fear at my age, 50 now, is that my curve will continue to progress.  I have fears of ending up in a wheel chair or unable to breathe properly.  I also have a mitral valve prolapse of my heart (which I understand can be caused by scoliosis).  I am just so afraid constantly of people knowing my secret.  My parents basically ignored the problem when I was in my teens and could not face the fact that their perfect daughter wasn't so perfect after all.  I could not be seen in a bathing suit or tight fitting clothes throughout my entire life.  In fact, I never even told my husband until after we were married nearly 2 years.  He never really noticed it he said and wasn't sure what it was anyway. 

    I was fortunate to get through 3 pregnancies and delivered 3 healthy children--2 boys and 1 girl.  None of my kids have inherited the scoliosis (they range in age from 17 to 25).  I am so thankful that they do not have to deal with this deformity and pain.  We live in Texas now and there is a doctor in Plano who handles adult cases of scoliosis.  I feel that I am in a place now where I need to seek out a consultation with this doctor.  Maybe it is time for surgery as I feel my body changing these last 3 or 4 years.  My waistline is nearly gone--I really do not like wearing anything close to my waist as I have developed a bulge on my left side and a hump on my right shoulder.  I was told back in 1997 that my curve was at 41 degrees and was also rotational.  Has any one out there had surgery and regretted it?  I know the recovery and physical therapy is very hard.  Even as I sit here typing this entry, my back is causing me great discomfort.  I cannot go one whole day without thinking about my back.  I am not a real vain person and am very low maintenance typically, but at this point I am worried about my health and ability to be active as I get older.  My family also has a history of osteoporosis that could definitely be a factor in my scoliosis progression.  I am waiting to hear back from this doctor's office to set up a consult, so wish me luck.