rayofsunshine's Journal

Journal Entry for May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007

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1. 

   Hi rayofsunshin,
   
   Thanks for the friend invite. It does seem we have a lot in common. I ran out of my zanax a couple of days ago and had a bad day at work yesterday. I had a panic attack in front of one of the employees and I think she went to the HR Director...I am only a temp and I am trying to get a permanent position with this company.
   
   I couldn't even do my data entry, I was so nervous and shakey. I felt as if I was spinning and I couldn't hit the floor. It is the worst feeling in the world...then I started getting paranoid that people were talking about me, that this employee had told other people in the co what happened. I get my meds tomorrow, but my dr is not going to give me any more meds because he says I need to see a phycholigist and I don't have insurance. I was able to borrow a few meds from someone to get me through til tomorrow. But the way I felt yesterday, I almost left work. I feel I can't function without it. I felt like I was going to jump right out of my skin. I know you know the feeling....it's indescribable. I am not able to control the shaking or my body functions.
   
   Do you like to read....that always takes me away when I can't stop my brain from turning off. Or maybe watch a good movie or something on TV that you like. It seems to help me.
   
   Have you heard of the Serenity prayer..
   
   God grant the serentity to accept the things I cannot change.
   The courage to change the things I can.
   And the wisdom to know the difference. AMEN
   
   Sometimes you have to ask the Lord or your higher power to take your worries from you and guide you through them when you have to face it.
   
   I hope this helps you and I hope you have a great day. I am at home at night if you need support, let me know and I will check my computer each night to help you if I can.
   
   Gaileo

   
   

   Gaileo

2. 

   I love the Serenity Prayer ... I ran out of my one anti-anxiety med this week too. Wow, what's going on with this week? It has been a tough one.

   
   

   sky123456

3. 

   I have the serenity prayer hanging in my bedroom above my bed. And I do love to read to escape. I feel like I'm in the book I know that may sound crazy.. I love funny romantic type books. jennifer Weiner. Jane Green to name a couple. I truly know what you are going through and you feel like the people at work are looking at you like you are a freik and don't fit in. I keep ativan in my purse at all time, in case panic strikes out of nowhere. I'll tell you a little secret you might even know. since you don't have ins.. When I didn't have any ins. I went to the health dept. and claimed nausea and vomiting. usually they will give you promethazine, works better than valium on my attacks. I also went to the library and checked out every book they had on anxiety and panic. I really learned ALOT and can usually talk myself out of one. That and knowing my pills are on me at all times helps alot. Hang in there girl, I'm praying for you.
   Love,
   Christy

   
   

   rayofsunshine

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