Rocky7's Journal

                                                the long goodbye.

when i was approached by doug to put forward a non profit organistion,that i considered to be worthy of their donation,i thought long and hard.so many illnesses have touched my family over the years,heart disease,diabetes,arthritic conditions ,eating disorders,the list is endless,but eventually i decided on the altzeimers assosiation ,a worthy and genuine cause,so very close to my heart.

                                                                                         my late grandmother suffered from this debilitating condition,as does my father`s best friend.it`s called the long goodbye ,because unlike so many other illnesses,they are taken from you little by little ,day by day.It can creepup so slowly ,you hardly notice at first.maybe they will start to forget ,little things ,like what day it is ,where they`re going,or what theyare doing there.they become confused ,frightened ,child like.or they caan get aggressive ,wondering why ,and who is now doing what they once did for them selves. with my nan,she reverted to being a child,doing what ever you asked of her ,and following you around.she would take her cclothes off ,after you had painstakingly dressed her for the second/third,or fourth time.it was like a game to her ,but it took its toll om my mum.eventually ,she was advised by her doctor to find a residential home for my nan.this had to be the hardest thing she had to do.would anyone else take caare of her ,as we had done.?would they be patient when she undressed for the umpteeenth time?and would they bother to gently feed her ,when she would sit in front of her once favourite food?we were lucky,we found a home .close to my mum ,where they all adored the lady they called ,little Molly.

                                                          I,can remember like yesterday ,her last christmas with us.she came for the day ,along with my parents.my children were small then and didnt understand why she seemed much older,but acted like them.i,watched with a heavy heart as she was helped to open gifts ,she was bemused by ,and while i spoonfed her ,her once must at christmas,trifle,carfully making sure she didnt choke.I,knew then,this would be her last with us.when they had all gone home and the children were tucked up ,i cried for every part of her we had already lost ,andfor what surely was to come very soon.It wasnt long,she passed away just four short months later ,in her sleep ,with no pain.but ,although i cried ,i had already lost the nan i had loved so very much.

  so,now as i watch my father`s friend,a once proud man,a soldier in 2 world wars ,and a prisoner in japan for many years.alwaays a gentleman,neatly turned out ,and with a smile for everyone ,especialy the wife he adored .now,he too is ravaged by this disease,his wife due to heart problems no longer able to cope with caring for him 24 hours a day.A shadow of his former self ,he lives out his days being looked after by strangers,while his wife struggles to pay the exorbitant fees charged by these places.

                                             this is why i think this disease is worthy of the donation.it doesnt just affect those concerned ,emotionally ,but financialy aswell.the government wont subsidise ,or help ,they only take the lifetimes savings these proud men and women have struggled to keep ,hoping one day ,to help out their families once they aare gone.Is this right,that when they are at their most vunerable ,that they should be worrying about money,i dont think so. thank you for listening ,and if you think this cause is worthy of the donation that daily strength is offering ,please let doug know.thanks.sharon .(and to my special sis ter eleanor,i`m so proud to call you my friend,love sharon xxxxx ).