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ok,im going to try and keep this brief.Luv being part of the great big family that is daily strength,and couldnt put a price on all the continuing luv,support,and friendship ive received since i joined this web site.How evr i must admit,ive become slightly dissalusioned lately.i think its because im beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed with everyones problems,when i cant cope with my own.ive noticed alot of my good friends have felt something similar,and now i can see why.i get scared if i dont respond,and scared if i do.we,are all here due to various needs,and because we all care enough to help others ,aand be there when they need a friend.lately,however,ive found im spending most of my time,frantically trying to give help,when proffesional aid is required.I,would luv to be able to solve their problems,but im not trained,and i just wish ,that they would realise the position they are putting me in.if i dont respond to a cry for help(and i dont mean when someone just needs to talk ),i get really worked up,and find im in floods of tears,because i cant cope.unfortunately,imtoo soft hearted to turn away from someone in dire straights,but im getting symptoms of my blood pressure ,rising again,headaches,and generally feel unwell.the trouble is i cant switch off,and these things play on my mind.i,will still be on here,but not so frequently.i dont think i can deaal with it all right now.guess ive not recovered from my own upsets as much as i`d thought,to deal with the serious nature of some of the messages i am getting.well,so much for keeping this short,but i felt i had to get this off my chest.to al my wonderful friends who have been here for me through it all,i want to say a huge thankyou to you ,for your love,kindness,and ongoing support.im,going to take a week to see if it helps me destress,i dont want to lose my friends,but i do need a rest,a big hug to you all,with much luv,sharonxx
Comments
My dear friend Im sorry to hear how you are feeling your journal is very true I probably have been selfish myself without realizing it Anyway look after number 1 [YOURSELF] and I hope you feel a lot better soon all my luv Eilidh....xx
eilidh
Sharon, I feel that way sometime too!! I just can't read everyone journal cause its overwhelming. I just send hugs on those days. Have a blessed day!!!
dancingbear
I understand how you feel. I am the same way, i want to help as much as i can. But i realized that i had to focus on my own family and myself because i was spending too much time on here. Take care and i hope you feel better soon! ((big hugs))
Brenda5
Sharon, this site is supposed to be about healing. It's YOU that needs to set the boundries. Not everyone is perfect. Some people are downright not normal. You need to learn to weed out the good from the bad and let go. The people that inspire are the people you want to surround yourself with. I myself, usually inspire... I'm simply going through a bit of a funk right now, but you have choices. Be true to yourself. Do not bite off more than you can chew. Realizing your boundries, is in itself is a strength. If you do decide to take a break from DS, I will understand, support you and miss you.
Liane999
I have learned that too. I want people to know I'm thinking about them and wishing them well but cannot fix their pains and problems. I personally love to read the journals that are uplifting and about the ones that keep on keeping on even though they don't feel like it. I have much respect for these friends. Just a simple hug with a I'm thinking of you means a lot to all of us. Use this site for inspiration and friendship after all we are not Doctors. I told my Hubby that sometimes I can't even read the journals because they bring me down to much. You do what you have to do to make yourself feel good. Just let me know from time to time that you are okay. I'll miss you! .......Hope my journals don't depress you to much......A big ole hug from me to you, Cathy
mica
I fully understand what you mean. There's nights that I am on this site for hours at a time just trying to get and stay caught up with everyone and everything, and if I can't get on here for a few days, then there's more and more time spent on here and then I feel guilty if I didn't get a chance to respond to someone- I don't want anyone to think that I don't care about them or what they are going thru, and I try to help as many people as I can because by helping them, it helps me too. I agree with Liane - surround yourself with the people that inspire you and keep them close to your heart. That's what I do.
I really appreciate all the listening you do for me and all of the caring and love that you have.
cardiogirl
We women have to fight against the societal brainwash of helping everyone else and helping ourselves last. Its the other way around, we need to make sure we are strong and nurtured so that we are in a better position to help others. We also tend to enable folks. We fix fix and fix them or try to, and it can easily become a form of codependency. We need to be able to give folks the tools they need so that they can become stronger, instead of constantly taking care of them and in essence, they get weaker bec they quit trying, and would rather you fix it some more.
You go girl, do what you gotta do to get yourself where you need to be. Love ya!
necie
thanks for all your comments.the reason i got so down,today was i realised i had been hoaxed,(again,thats twice).im only just beginning to come to terms with my own incapasities,and mostly,losses that ive suffered in the last year.i had thought that i had come to terms with all thats haappened,i was wrong.it took those two people to make me realise,that i`d only just started.i,look forward to reading all of your journals,and if i can help by listening,i will.i would like to think im compassionate and guess thats the problem.cos im soft hearted & cant switch off,they take advantge.i,hope i havent offende anyone with this entry,you have all been terrific to me.guess im not as good a judge of character as i thought.these people must know who they are,but they dont care.well i hope their satisfied .i cried myself to sleep this afternoon,and nearly pulled the plug on here 4 good.but my daaughter made me see sense & said i needed to rest & put myself first.of course she is right.its a haabit ive got into,puttingmyself last.i guess i learned the hard way!!luv you all,and thankyou 4 your constant support,luv shaaronxxxxx
Rocky7
I am sorry and i completely understand where you are coming from with what you have wrote in your journal. Listen i know that i have probably been selfish in that way and dont realise it if i am ever like that again then you just let me know i do not want to make you or anyone else on ds ill with my problems, i know we all have problems not just me. Sorry and hope you are feeling better soon all my love lisa xxx
blether2
it is hard when you are not feeling good yourself especially if you feeling a bit down.
rossiroo
I used to believe what I was taught--I have to take care of everyone, especially family. I made a tough break when I went away to college and then joined the military. But I still get the comments, you have to take care of your mother (she has dementia and she hates me and has always hated me and abused me), you have to take care of your brother (usually from him and he would get angry when I asked for him or his children to take out the garbage--also I would work 60-70 hours a week and he would expect more support from me and would not help with bills).
All the pyscological tests I took in the past score me very high for emotional and intuitive. I love helping people but hate being taken advantage of. It is probably one reason I kept taking back an abusive ex and trying again.
So after many years of problems--abuse, I have slowed down, but as my husband and I talked about this weekend, I let myself be beat up (literally) for months working at my last job until I was permanently injured. I knew I was good at the job and my heart was so big, I loved those kids, so I did not quit or make my supervisor do something about the staff setting the kids off. Now, I will pay for it every day of my life.
So even though, I patted myself on the back, I still put up with the abuse at work for several reasons.
But we do have to work on our boundaries with family, friends, and people who will hurt us.
pcoon
Honey, please take care of YOU first. If you need someone I am a good listener without laying more on you. Take all the time you need. It does get overwhelming at times but like Lianne said You have to make boundaries. It looks like you are on your way though. And if these ppl are truly your friends they will understand. If they don't take them off of your list. I have had to do this to a couple of ppl myself. Its hard and it hurts because like you I want to help all I can. But some ppl like you say need a professional and are looking for therapy in the wrong places. You take care of YOU! Love and Hugs
chrinich
Hi Sharon, I hope the break away from here will do you the world of good, you need to look after yourself, please know that i am thnking about you and sending my support. Take Care.
betterdays