Still hanging on....
March 25, 2008 9:54pm
Hi everyone....I am so very sorry 4 not having been in touch 4 such a long time, but I've just recently been discharged from hospital again.( Got …
amy4’s Profile
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amy4
is feeling OK
About Me
bipolar 1 mixed state, self mutilation , raped as a child , treated as a leper by my family. In dire need of good friends and lots of hugs.More in my journal..
Interests
My one true passion in life (apart from my 2 girls) is music. Even as a young child I would go 2 sleep with radio Luxembourg on.Concerts therefore r a real buzz 4 me ! I detest cities, so any chance I get I'm either down at a beach ( no matter what the weather ) or I'm out in2 the countryside.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for November 5, 2007
November 5, 2007 8:51pm
I don't know what 2 say really....there r times lately when I really do feel that I am losing touch with reality.
4 no apparent reason I find …
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Journal Entry for October 16, 2007
October 16, 2007 8:05pm
Hello everyone...how are u all doing ?
I haven't been anywhere near the computer 4 months now....just became very reclusive and isolated myself …
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for July 25, 2007
July 25, 2007 7:49pm
Hi folks , sorry that it's been so long since I last wrote an entry......I'm afraid that the the little picture of teh face crying is an …
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Hugbook
Hug
Haven't talked in awhile. How are u?
Flower
LOTS & LOTS OF HUGS.
Flower
Bless your heart, you really have an amazing one - take care of yourself and everything dear to your heart. Never give up and believe in yourself. Smiles.
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Hug
*BB*... *BB*... *BB* all the way!! Woooohoooo - you have no idea how hearing from you have made me smile! :):):) Glad maybe this time things will finally get better for you with everything - you so deserve happiness and more. I am doing okay considering all that happened... wow it will be a year now net month since I started all this. Gosh.... if you can and want, read my journals... sorry have so many and can't really say which ones LOL... you always have been in my thoughts and prayers. Here if you need anything. Love ya too! XO
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Hug
Hey ya... wow it has been ages seen I've seen you on here - I missed you. Hope life has been good to you and everything is great in your World! *hugs*, lots of *hugs* for you :)
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
I intially suffered from depression when I was 13. I've been in and out of hospital 4 nearly the past 7yrs.Was told by a previous consultant that I suffered from "Affective mood disorder" and also "Impulsive personality disorder". Nothing that I have ever been given has seemed 2 help. Now, I've got a new consultant and just last wk he changed his diagnosis 2 bipolar1 mixed state (although he also mentioned something about "borderline personality disorder ". Anywhichway-4 being started onlithium.
Treatments
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- Haven't got a clue.I don't know what's "real" or what's "normal" 4 me anymore.
- Valium Working / Worked
- I don't know how I would get through a day without these little yellow miracle workers!
- Lunesta Somewhat Helpful
- I've been on these 4 so long now that I think my body has just become immune 2 them !
- Lithium Too Soon to Tell
- Recently diagnosed with bipolar1 mixed state.Started 400mgdaily on 1st june.
- Seroquel Somewhat Helpful
- I find that the 200mg I take at night helps with the Zimovane to help me get asleep.
- Valium Working / Worked
Close Self-Injury
I cut. Sometimes with a stanley knife,sometimes with a stupid bread knife.It doesn't really matter as long as it gets the job done. I've also stubbed a cig butt out on the back of my hand. OD'd.Whatever.Be it out of anger or rooted in depression,the bottom line is that it's all down 2 self loathing and I deserve it. It helps 2 release pressure. Calm me down.
Treatments
- Valium Working / Worked
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
When I was only 11 my mother left my dad. Nothing spectacular there;just that was i never allowed 2 mention his name, let alone c him or have any type of contact.They had just fallen out of luv and i lost my dad.Like he was dead,but I cud not grieve.At this time we also moved hse and area.Puberty kicked in.And I also left the friends and familarity of primary school 2 go 2 a grammar.2many huge events happening on top of 1another.It was completely overwhelming.I became withdrawn.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Not Working
- I saw a psychologist 4 2yrs.She gave me up as a bad job.(Well,actually,she went on maternity leave!)But the fact remains that we got absolutely nowhere.I'm a lost cause.
- Valium Working / Worked
Open Sexual Abuse
I can remember very little about it..probably because I was so young.I was raped.I don't know who it was,I couldn't see a face because I was shying away and using my arms 2 cover my face.I can just remember hurting,squirming,begging them 2 stop.I also remember that they tried 2 drown me. I was gasping 4 air.Then these thoughts going through my head saying "nobody believes me..nobody believes me..".I suppose if I went 2 a hypnotist, I might uncover more;but I prefer that it stays buried.
Treatments
- Valium Working / Worked
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Bipolar 1 mixed state or borderline personality disorder...or BOTH???!!
Treatments
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Snapshot
amy4 hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give amy4 a hug?
