rutowsle's Journal

My 99th session with my therapist today... For my 100th we teased that we should have streamers and noise makers. Wow, 100 sessions, that just seems nuts! I go every week and have for two and a half years. There have been a couple of times, twice I think that I have had to go a month without seeing him. I've never missed a session, although we both had to cancel once. I have so much respect for him, he really works well with me. I'm just so lucky that I found the perfect therapist for me. I can tell you I'd be dead now if I hadn't started therapy. I remember how hard it used to be every time I walked in the door. I would dissasociate for days! I lost so many jobs because I would have therapy and then cry uncontrollably for a few hours and then I'd go back into a deep dissasociative session. I worked for a day program serving adults with dissabilities so I had to be present in my environment. I was constantly trapped in my head. I wish I could keep my psychotic crap separate from the rest of my life, but it is totally my life! Oh christ... I frustrate myself!!!!