rutowsle's Journal

I keep telling myself what a piece of shit I am. Obviously it doesn't help at all... I just want to sleep until spring semester starts. I need to stop going out, and I need to stop with all the one night stands. Theres no gratification in it, its just another way to allow myself to be abused. Thank god my taste in men seems to lead me to "safer" people than in the past, but still this is just a horrible thing to do to myself. And dragging men into my life like that is just unfair to everyone involved. I guess I'm what you would call a slut though so maybe its not connecte to my trauma and my sexual issues, maybe I'm just a dirty slut and I use my past to blame my actions on now. I'm suck a fuck-up.