n2thesea's Journal

I am having what I call a "hide in the closet and shut out the world" day. Struggling really hard to hold it all together. Woke up this way. It is a beautiful, sunny, bird singing day and I wake up with a storm raging in my head and all throughout my body. This is the part about depression I really, really hate. Thank god I have all of you to vent to and to turn to for my daily stregnth.

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to throw things. I want to hurt someone close to me, so he can feel my pain. I want to get in my beautiful little roadster, with the top down, and drive as fast as I can just daring everyone and everything to get in my way.

Whew! That helped.  I am going to calmly walk out to the barn and hug each and every horse (except the one that bites). I am also going to hug all 6 dogs because I yelled and snapped at each of them for the last hour. I am NOT going to hug my DH because even when I told him I was having a "bad" day he persisted in pushing me to the edge. Him I will ignore for the rest of the day.

And I an sending hugs to all of you who read this for being so understanding and allowing me this vent. Love You.