Life After Divorce Divorce is a …
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I am in a bad marriage with a wife who is Bipolar and is in denial. We have been married for many years and I have tried eveything to keep the marriage together for the sake of the children (probably a big mistake). I need help with some very big decisions as to whether to get a divorce as well as all of the many problems and issues I am going through now. I don't know where to turn.
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Are you bipolar also? I am, and I know that I was married for 6 years before I faced my fear and went to the dr. I can't image the feelings that my husband had living with me all that time. But I can say, I don't know that I would have gotten help if he would have left me. I cared about him enough to try to make it work. If your wife won't go to the dr, she is probable afraid. Scared that someone will know that she has a problem. Scared that she won't be 'normal'. And even scared that you will reject her if she is diagnosed. I know that I had every one of them feelings. But I sat down with my husband and asked him 'Do you want to live happy? B/C if you do, then I HAVE to go to the dr. I have to find out what is wrong. I have to stop hurting myself.' He agreed and I went to the dr. Now, my husband pretends that we never had that talk. He doesn't treat me any different from before. I think you need to sit her down, and explain that you WON'T be judgemental. Hope this helps.
KasRechelle
i agree almost entirely with KasRechelle....my husband brought it up to me once, and i completely dismissed it for all of the reasons she stated above. I didnt want people to feel pity for me. I didnt want them to let things go bc I am bipolar. I wanted to know that people would treat me the same, hold me accountable, and not like im "special". Also, I just couldnt even fathom the thought that ANYTHING could be wrong with me.
hold that thought...i have to get off computer for a min...
iluvddc
ok im back....so what i think did it for me is the fact that everytime i went crazy on him, he would point it out as not being normal behavior. But the problem with that when u do it at the time is....if she is full of energy and going off on you, she is probably manic, and when youre like that YOURE RIGHT. The best bet for you is to catch her when she is depressed, because we are more likely to admit something is wrong when we are depressed. Even if you dont tell her she is bipolar, tell her WHEN SHE IS DEPRESSED that she needs to maybe see someone for depression...her pdoc will figure it out sooner or later. Or maybe she needs to find a new pdoc, since u said hers isnt getting it. How long has she been seeing this doc? I know mine didnt want to tell me until he was sure bc he knew how hard it would be on me. So it took about a year and a half before he finally said it to me.
When he did say it to me, it was like someone took the breath out of me. I just sat there like i had been defeated, and i said "what? you think im....bipolar??" I couldnt even get the word bipolar out. And then he just said....yes, I really do. Its a hard thing to hear, and an even harder thing to accept.
you have to make the right decision for you....
iluvddc