Camp Lutherlyn - 5th grade field trip
This all started in January when my youngest, E, asked me to chaperone her 5th grade over night field trip to Camp …
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Things are okay. I ran with a running group tonight for the first time and it was great. I ran much faster and longer and I didn't have a moment to think about the past 6 months.
We entertained friends for the first time since the affair last Friday and that went really well too. It was excellent to get my house in order and the kiddos had so much fun!
I'm bummed because the Master's program I wanted to begin no longer exists. There are others that I am now pursuing, but the price and timing of the other was better. Oh well.
Our luck also isn't so great with the Kindergarten options. My son is on waiting lists, #22 in one school and #72 in the other:( We have one more to wait on, then I guess I begin exploring other options. Yuck.
I have to see my OB/GYN tomorrow for my yearly and to have std tests done. Yuck again.
I went to see a shrink, so that I can get on better meds. I'm running out of Lexapro and am not sure it was really the right drug anyway. I'm exhausted all the time and I still freak out and get obsessive in this nasty cycle of grief. I'm hoping to be numb for the next 10 years or so. What is so ironic is that I never ever was someone who thought drugs were an answer. Wow, how things change!!
In all of the ways that I can control my life and my health, I'm pleased. With my marriage, not so much. I simply don't think things can ever truly be repaired. I am lonely and I feel like I've given and tried as much as I can. I'm still committed to not making any decisions for a year. I will stick to that.
We entertained friends for the first time since the affair last Friday and that went really well too. It was excellent to get my house in order and the kiddos had so much fun!
I'm bummed because the Master's program I wanted to begin no longer exists. There are others that I am now pursuing, but the price and timing of the other was better. Oh well.
Our luck also isn't so great with the Kindergarten options. My son is on waiting lists, #22 in one school and #72 in the other:( We have one more to wait on, then I guess I begin exploring other options. Yuck.
I have to see my OB/GYN tomorrow for my yearly and to have std tests done. Yuck again.
I went to see a shrink, so that I can get on better meds. I'm running out of Lexapro and am not sure it was really the right drug anyway. I'm exhausted all the time and I still freak out and get obsessive in this nasty cycle of grief. I'm hoping to be numb for the next 10 years or so. What is so ironic is that I never ever was someone who thought drugs were an answer. Wow, how things change!!
In all of the ways that I can control my life and my health, I'm pleased. With my marriage, not so much. I simply don't think things can ever truly be repaired. I am lonely and I feel like I've given and tried as much as I can. I'm still committed to not making any decisions for a year. I will stick to that.
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It sounds like you are doing everything possible to help yourself and help your marriage. If after a year you decide you can't do this any longer, at least you know you did everything in your power to save the marriage. If your anything like me however, It will just be hard knowing that you'll never get that year back. I guess it's a small price to pay when you are looking at a whole life time.
JerC