insolidarity's Journal

I went to Costa Rica to escape, learn Spanish, get some research done-but I found myself surrounded by young (19-25) folks that were vacationing and got caught up with spending time with them. It only depressed me, to be around people without  a financial concern-that have travelled the world and share tales of similar travel (is the best hiking in Brazil, or Nicaragua?; Is New Year's better in Rio de Janeiro or Buenas Aires?; Is New Zealand more beautiful and fun than the W. Coast of Australia? Is surfing better in Costa Rica or Thailand?) made me feel very isolated and burdened. I was bitter, for never having the opportunity to live that way-and for not being able to even enjoy the little things- such as a drink, and food.

 Anyhow- the car I rented was robbed with all my meds and the card saying what meds I can and can not have for area specific diseases, etc. So, I was without anything to ease pain (and the roads are the worst in the world-the food is all acidic) and then I was stung by a scorpion. The doc could not/would not give me anti-histamines so I had to ride it out and deal on crutches with a fever, swollen tongue, etc. I still loved the time spent there-and never wanted to come home. If not for my daughter-I would have stayed indefinitely. 

Now, needing to see a doc and replace all my meds-is too great a financial burden after the losses endured. SO I am sticking it out with Tylenol-peeing every 3 seconds and dealing with this damn problem. There really is no life for us- no travel without constant worry- no fun (I tried diving but the weight belt made me have to pee and I had to vomit while deep-nearly drowned; tried parasailing- same thing-the belt/hoist on waist made me have to pee the whole time; zip-lining-same thing) so I tried travelling across to sites-but then the bus driver and all others would get pissed by the constant need to pee.  Renting a car? Allfine but costly-especially if it disappears! SO what the hell is there left to live for?IS my life only meant to provide for others? There is never to be a time for me?